Belker

The halfling looked at the Ursinal sage with a curious expression. "Belkar? The famous halfling ranger?" The ursinal frowned. "No, belkers. They're beings of the Paraelemental+Plane+of+Smoke. Very nasty.""They can't be nastier than Belkar!" laughed the halfling."On the contrary," said the ursinal. "They're veritable fiends made of smoke, complete with claws and Baatezu-like wings."The halfling looked at the Ursinal sage with a curious expression. "Belkar? The famous halfling ranger?"

The ursinal frowned. "No, belkers. They're beings of the Paraelemental+Plane+of+Smoke. Very nasty."

"They can't be nastier than Belkar!" laughed the halfling.

"On the contrary," said the ursinal. "They're veritable fiends made of smoke, complete with claws and Baatezu-like wings."

"Mephits look fiendish too," the halfling pointed out. "But they're not very evil. Belkar once tried to make a paladin fall purely for the fun of it!"

"Belkers attack innocents by forcing them to inhale them. If you thought pipeweed was bad for your lungs, belkers are a thousand times worse."

"Watch what you say about pipeweed! Where I come from, that's considered a hate crime!"

The ursinal gave the halfling a sardonic look. "All right. Smoke pipeweed if you want. Trust me that a creature made of smoke that can form claws inside your lungs and tear them apart from the inside is not recommended for pregnant or nursing women."

"Belkar once killed a guardsman in cold blood and wrote a mocking message about it in crayon."

"Belkers roam the Plane of Smoke, hunting sentient life and amusing themselves by listening to their victims squeal in pain. They abandon their young to survive on their own. They slay anyone who intrudes on the giant cinders they use as their lairs! Can Belkar say the same?"

"Calm down!" said the halfling. "Geeze. You'd think a belker killed your mother, or something."

The ursinal, to the halfling's surprise, began to cry at this.

"Oh," said the halfling. "I'm sorry, man. Did a belker kill your mother?"

"No," said the ursinal. "Nothing like that. It's just that... I just remembered that Mother's Day was tomorrow, and I still haven't bought her anything."

"Celestials," the halfling snorted. "You wouldn't see Belkar getting all mushy like that."