TO KILL A LADY OF PAIN

Damn, that's classic... :twisted:

Spoken like a truely clueless berk. [no offense to Clueless, or to BERK.]

You can't wage war on the Lady. Nothing good can come from it. what do you think you are going to do? Kill her Dabus servents? Thats a Flaying at least. Close her portals? (which, by the way, it already being done. Cant remember her name...)

The Lady has killed gods ven. You cant even touch her. HER SHADOW will rend the flesh form your bones.

Wasnt there a sect that tried to wage war on the Lady? They all died gruesome deaths, right?

The Grixitt. Uncaged: Faces of Sigil.

As to killing The Lady...

Ven and Shiido...

*shakes head*

Uh...

*sarcastically* Bon chance.

Wow. Capitan Autism, you are a mean person.

*Sits in the back, pulls out some popcorn, and watches the even unfold*

Flaw in Step 1: This only works against detection via means of telepathy and simular mental affects. There is no prevention of detection via future preditiction or warning. For example: in such a 'cosmos shaking' event - Rhys would bail first and the Lady would be warned. There have been indications that Her Serenity is outside of the time stream, and aware of all time - therefore would also get warning via that method.

Motioning to her small army of followers, Jari stepped through the glowing portal. How long had she waited for this time? It seemed so long ago, before she was empress of one hundred conquered primes, before she had slain a Balor with her bare hands, before even she had faced down the chosen of one of the so called gods. Yes, it had all been leading to this day. It would be her day, her revenge, and her destiny.

The acrid air of the hive ward permitted Jari's enchanted helm. The stinging sensation brought back harsh memories of the last time she had been here. She was but barely a woman of age then, eking out a miserable existence as an assistant to her mason father. Business was poor, for although there was plenty of work to do her father was not renowned enough to work for the wealthy. And poorer folk would only offer commission when in the direst of need. All that was set to change though.

Although in general opposed to the guilds that had risen up since the faction war, jink was in scarce supply. When the guild of Artisan’s aproached father with an offer of regular work he spent the last of our funds on the membership. Three days we waited, subsisting on little more than water and air until; finally a knock at the door.

"Alfonze Stoneworker?" the runner asked.
"Yes, I am he." my father replied.
The runner passed a small note emblazoned with the guild of Artisan’s seal, before running off into the smog. Unsheathing the small knife my mother had given him before her death, he cut open the seal and read the letter.
"Gather your work tools lass, today we work" he called to me.
It turned out the situation was an urgent one, a gem shop in the clerk's ward had been wrecked by some barmy mage. The hardheads had taken care of him, but the shop owner was left with the ruins. With the usual masons already working, the guild had sent us to fix the building.

We grafted twice as hard as ever, for the payment was good. What was more, this would be my father's chance at gaining renown with the wealthy. The chance of a better life. We worked until we dropped, returning to the hovel we called home.

The following mooring we set back off to continue work. What we saw was amazing. The store was completely fixed overnight, rebuilt with new stone and mortar. Hovering nearby was one of the mysterious Dabus, slowly hammering a final loose brick into place. Seeing us approach through the restored shop window the fat little owner trotted out to us, a smile on his face.

"Why, hello there Alfie , or whatever your name is." he remarked.
"As you can see , I no longer require your services. The Lady provides eh!" passing a small bag of jink to my father he returned to his shop. Counting the coins, a look of anger slowly built on his face. Brandishing his hammer he rushed at the Dabus, battering it firmly upon its head. The Dabus collapsed to the ground its domed skull crushed.

"Steal from my mouth , my child's mouth. I curse you Lady for all to hear!" he shouted as he continued to pummel the lifeless servant of her serenity. A small crowd had started to gather now. I clutched my father's arm pulling him away with the strength that came from years of moving stones.

"We should not show our wrath to these people Father" Glancing around , he seemed to regain his composure somewhat and replied "You are quite right, as always." dusting himself down. One stranger noticed the corpse was a Dabus and shouted it out. The street suddenly seemed to clear with the sound of bolts being drawn behind doors. Even the yapping of some nearby hound was silenced.

Looking upwards the reason was apparent. She stood suspended in mid air the sharp angles of her blades offset by the serene mask and her gently flowing garments. We were transfixed by the sight , numbed by fear. Slowly her head turned towards my father.

"No! No! I am sorry , I will do anything. Please my Lady , Please." Father collapsed to his knees begging for her mercy. Her shadow suddenly grew deeper , more defined. Screwing my eyes closed all I could hear were his screams, my own father's screams piercing my every thought.

Jari shook her head, banishing her memories. Now was the time for action.

"My Gax, are the archmages in place ? , are the mercenaries ready ?" she asked.
"Yes my empress, at your command we shall begin" the General replied.

One hundred archmages , the most powerful from every prime she had conquered. Ten score of adventurers of the planes - their costs alone had almost bankrupt the empress's treasury. That was but a mere starter though, for within her hand Jari held the method of her deliverance. The rod of Axos hummed with power as she fondled it. It had already consumed three gods recently, but its hunger was unsated , it lusted for more divine food.

Nodding to Gax the order went out. The mages began their spells and the mercs formed a protective ring. "LADY , I SUMMON YOU. " Jari bellowed into the fog. Minutes passed with nothing. "Looks like she needs some encouragement" Jari said , turning to Gax with a wicked smile. The general lifted his hand to signal some far off observer. A minute later a small mule driven carriage pulled into the centre of the circle.

Within it lay six writhing sacks bound with the strongest of rope. Drawing her father's small blade, Jari cut the rope and extracted the Dabus. An exclamation mark formed over its head. Taking the knife she dug deep into the creatures throat. A faint symbol denoting Her Serenity’s face glowed above its head before it collapsed to the ground.
"That's what I am counting on" she whispered mostly to herself.

Then it began. From behind a shout rose "She's Here , She's coming!". Jari turned to face the sound seeing one particular adventurer let loose a magical glowing arrow. As the arrow neared the floating lady it seemed to disappear. The archer cried out in horrendous pain and fell over dead. The archmages began to loose a barrage of spells , causing the smog of the hive ward to illuminate in brilliant flickering shades. Screams from all around , wizards , priests , warriors dying, and dead. Their corpses left unrecognisably flayed.

Some of the mercenaries at the back began to flee. "FIGHT ON COWARDS!" bellowed Gax as he drew his crossbow and felled one fearful merc with a well placed shot. It was all was quiet. Only Jari and her personal guard remained. Shedding their clothes, each of her guard revealed their true form. Astral monks, some of the last worshipers of Aoskar the dead god of portals. Summoning their Ki they jumped high into the air , deadly fists and feet honed at the Lady, moving with superhuman speed. Each in turn dropped quietly immobile to the ground, managing even in death to uphold their vow of silence.

Gax drew close to her , motioning with his darkly glowing sword.
"Surly now is the time to use it , my lady" he spoke softly in to Jari's ear, as he had on many nights before. The lady hovered right before them now , the mask of her face staring straight at Jari. Grinning wildly the empress raised the dread rod towards her serenity.

"Now is your Doom!"

The rod of Axos thrummed and glowed. Black 'light' flowing from its tip. The lady remained immobile. The air around the Bladed Lady turned , pitch black , as it had with the deities it has consumed before. Jari let loose a maniacal laugh.

Turning to Gax she kissed him on the cheek "She's dead now, Sigil is mine! My father avenged!"

Gax stood motionless. Looking back Jari's emotions turned from glee to shock. The lady still hovered, apparently unaffected by the god-eating artefact. Shadows snaked out cutting the empress to ribbons. Her serenity calmly floated off into the distance.

A few of the surviving mercs cut free the captured Dabus , as ragpickers emerged from the hive , eager to take thier share. Gax stood weeping over the remnants of his lover. For a moment he was angry and thought only of revenge, then he remembered. His Empress would have a fitting burial , and that would be the end of this maddness. Holding her corpse, he passed through a portal to the prime.

Years later Gax sits on his thrown. Ruler of but a single prime now. Every night his dreams are haunted by the screams of the dead the flayed corpses. Of what might have been if his lover had not faced the ruler of the Cage. What haunts him most though is even after all the preparation , the mages and adventurers and artefacts, at the end of it all, he could have sworn the Lady's mask seemed to smirk in contempt.

/OOC
Pretty much think that the Lady is really at the core of the setting. If you remove her the whole setting changes drastically. Now a GM can do whatever they want , but no Lady would render half the Planescape material (both official and Fan made) unusable and the rest at least needing partial alteration. That’s a ton of work for a GM.

Of course letting players or NPCs plan to overthrow Her Serenity is lots of fun. Maybe if they came up with a good enough plan it would work. As a GM that would be the last PS thing I ever did though , so the Bladed Lady is safe from me at least for the moment

Lorft

EDIT: Cleaned it up a bit. Should know better than to post after midnight

First off, its not my fault Dolores can kick your ass.

Second, why would you blow up the spire?

Sigil floats above the Spire, true. But doesn't sigil also exist in the Astral Plane? And who says Sigil needs the Spire to be there?

Also, all considering, blowing up the spire would be difficult considering no magic will function near it.
And the Rilmani will be pissed at you just for trying.

BTW: didnt Cap Autism say something about not blowing Sigil up?

True but who get's to claen up the mess

Yes yes it would shiido so if you ever do frid and i will hunt you down and throw into the elemental plane of ooze

damn if all else fails mabye Cap. autism will lend a hand

Shiido, you've lost wrestleing matches with de-clawed cats. Stop trying to be an ass.

And can we please return to the main topic?

First and foremost, and surprisingly enough not mentioned so far, one has to have belief. Without belief, any plan, even one involving uber-characters and epic artifacts, is doomed to fail, especially within our Dread Lady's own Cage. But it's more than believing that you can "take Her on". It's more than believing that you are unstoppable.

You have to believe in the Why you are doing it.

Do you think you can do a better job than Her Serenity? Would you manage the City of Doors better than She? Can you keep the gods themselves at bay?

Why would you be a better ruler? What would you change, and why?

Always, "Why?"

Without answering that question, without believing in the answer, there's not a plan that could be served up that would have a snowball's chance in Avernus.

By the by, precisely how do you propose to "blow up" an infinite mass of rock...let alone (of course) why?

ENOUGH!

I have been sitting on the sidlines for most of this, and I think this has reached a point where it is fairly obvious that this thread is:
1) a sad attempt to try and convince the people of planewalker that you can beat them at their own game [failed]
2) a transparent boast [no progress]
and 3) going nowhere because not only have you not had any ideas, but the few items you have hinted at are, simply put, ideas belonging to the residents of the Gatehouse. [your addle-coved]

Please, enlighten me to these grand schemes that could put the Yugoloths and Rilmani to shame.

I have no problem with the topic of this thread (okay, i lied, I do. but thats not the point!) I just dont like the way you insist on proclaiming your ideas, when there are no ideas to proclaim, just displaced rage at the thing you cannot change.

There is no loss of face to walk away from a fight with the Lady.
And now, I must go. The Hot Pockets call to me, I have not the force of will to resist them.

* whirls his hands in a dramatic flourish, and dissapers in a flash of azure light... only to reapper a moment later a few inches away*

DRAT! [fumes]

God.......your my flipping hero!

so ya know i just want to prove that there is a way to defeat her. And blowing up the spire is all ven's idea, not at all mine

Not likely to succeed, but keep trying! First person to come up with a workable idea gets an all expenses paid indefinite vacation to the Deep Ethereal!

damn i'm suprised, not one reply in a few hours

...that you are talking to yourself.

( the voice sounds to ven not like the voice that he hears of recordings of himself, but the voice he hears when he speaks. his true, mental voice)

Thats a sign of insanity.
And you are insane, make no mistake.
You trudge on with your ignorance, blatently ignoring the rules of reality, both in the world you live in, and the world that we live in.
Even your own allies tell you that you are mistaken, and yet you refuse to turn away.

This is a fools journey, you know this, and yet you refuse to let anything contridict you.

But then again...

Y'know, berk, I read in an article somewhere, some time ago that there's a 38% chance you exist. What barmy sod wrote it, I do not know. Was some kind of "scientific research", an'had something to do with probabilite-thingemajiggies. I'd smite the blood who wrote it, if I were you.

Then again, you have them sodding Prime philosophers that try to prove yer existence through reason. Absolutely barmy, they is. Smite them too.

Or not. I mean, you ARE God, right?

I have an idea, that might work, if the DM is going to allow pedantry.

Manifest the psionic power True Mind Switch on her. Hope the DM rolls a natural 1 on her save. Yes, deities no longer fail on a natural 1, but it has been established that the LoP is not a diety. Then, flay your old body.

Of course, the LoP isn't really dead, as far as the people of Sigil know.