Smytez Brand Energy Drink

Audio: Got Some Soft-Hearted Bastard Ruining Your Day?
Video: A Paladin in silver armor puts himself between a dark-bladed armor warrior and a poor family huddled in their home.

Audio: SMYTEZ EM!
Video: Smytez logo on black background.

Audio: Bitchen Tunes
Video: The dark warrior pops a can of Incarnate Evil Smytez brand energy drink open on his armor and chugs it down before holding it up for all to see. He then picks up the paladin and tosses him aside like a piece of trash.

Audio: Got A Black Heartless Blackguard Who's Got To Pay?
Video: The dark warrior is chaining up the poor family and appears to be trying to sell the youngest child to a succubi pimp. Shot pans over to the paladin getting up out of the trash and pulling out his own can of Greater Good Smytez brand energy drink.

Audio: SMYTEZ EM!
Video: Smytez logo on white background.

Audio: Bitchen Tunes
Video: The paladin chugs the can and with his energy back spikes it into the proper recycling bin as he strides over to the dark warrior. The paladin taps the warrior on the shoulder and punches him square in the face. The two proceed to fight while the camera pans over to a constable looking dismayed at the chaotic fray as he stands by a Smytez vending machine.

Audio: SMYTEZ EM!
Video: Smytez logo on Blue background.

Audio: Bitchen Tunes
Video: The constable gets his can of Ludicrously Lawful Smytez brand energy drink from the vending machine, drinks it down, crushes the can and puts it into the recycling bin before walking over to the fight causing the combatants to stop as he pulls out his ticket pad.

Audio: Guitar Riff
Video The constable writes a ticket for disorderly conduct and gives it to the dismayed Paladin.

Audio: SMYTEZ EM! SMYTEZ EM!
Video: Smytez logo on Red background.

Audio: Bitchen Tunes
Video: As the constable walks away the fight resumes as the camera pans over to a green slaadi watching what is going on. It holds up a can of Ceaseless Chaos in each hand and eats them both outright, not even bothering to open them first. The slaad then hops over and eats the dark warrior whole leaving the paladin and succubus to face off as he hops away.

Audio: Want the boost of Smytez Energy without the extra calories?
Video: The succubus pulls out a can of Incarnate Evil Diet Smytez and pops the top with one finger smirking at the camera.

Audio: DIET SMYTEZ EM!
Video: The succubus takes a drink and then curls her tongue around the lip of the can eyeing the paladin, who's pants fall down on their own, armor and all, revealing red heart Smytez logo boxers. Confidently the succubi strides over to the paladin as the screen fades to black.

Audio: Don't forget to try Notoriously Neutral Smytez, Coming Soon!
Video: A slowly spinning can of Notoriously Neutral Smytez on a light gray background overlaid with the required health warnings in a darker gray.