Silly Items!

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Lorft's picture
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Ring of Fiery Tongue
This flamboyant red copper ring inlaid with small rubies is made to me worn on the small finger. When immediately donned it provides no bonus, however after a nights sleep it will provide the following powers for one day:
Absorb ten points of any flame damage.
Cast a fireball (as a 10th level caster) once.

However the ring contains a subtle curse. For each night a user sleeps wearing the ring there is a chance that they will react uncontrollably in a 'Fiery Manner' (see below) to any disagreement, however minor. The chance of this curse exerting itself is 1% per night slept with the ring. Thus after 10 days sleep the chance is 10% for any disagreement and 50% after 50 days sleep. This curse is in effect even when the ring is removed, although each week spent without donning the ring at all will reduce the chance by 1%.

Curse of the Fiery Tongue
When exerting itself the curse takes complete control of the victims vocal system forcing them to verbally react in the most antagonistic and verbally violent way possible to the subject of their disagreement. This reaction will continue for D20 minutes, no matter what situation arises. The curse does not effect any other part of the victim, either their thoughts or their physical actions. Thus they are free to do any action not involving their mouth or tongue. No matter what action they take (even if they kill the subject or cut out their own tongue) the curse will retain control of the victim’s mouth until the duration is complete.

Note to Evil DM's:
Especially fun to trigger the curse when negotiating with powefull bloods , mid-spellcast or when the wearer is underwater / in a gas filled rom.

Lorft

sphagetti man's picture
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lorft your my kinda guy , swan i can't help it

dread pirate swan's picture
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dude, that curse is amazing but we have a player or two that do that anyhow.........shiido........ven.........not that i'm pointing fingers!

*points a finger at screen*

ven
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i do not and another thing i will react in fiery manner now for d 20 minutes 17 minutes later/ oh i love being your friend man and if you ever say other wise i will cut out your tongue and (19 minutes later) you are the coolest guy in the world :troll:

ven
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points finger at self then realizes that swan was talking to him and thrusts his finger back at the screen furiously

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that is a little strange oh well

Cards of the kadaver
when used as playing cards the loser of the game is randomly transported to 1 of 9 hells of baator
*disapeared mytsteriously after playing cards with fridrikon a !/2 hour later

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The books of bashing

these are plain looking books that can used as weapons that deal 1D4 damage and also can be thrown with range of 10 Ft. if any body ever reads these they get a +10 to the books specific type of knowledge such as geography or the planes to top it off if hit with said book after being read activates it's affect like geography can summon 1D4 huge sized elementals or the planes will transport you to a random plane except for Sigil

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kadaver's wonder sword(sorry if it's spelled wrong)

this is a strange little cursed longsword that will once a week cause subtle mihaps that will try to get the wielder killed such as encoutering a haorde of mummies and giving the wielder mummy rot (answers door to greeted by a mummy lord )

ven
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wow hasn't been used in awhile?

Fonikin Featherbottum's picture
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This item will be wicked cool and I wanted to restore this to its former glory anyway the item is.....

Beanie of Shame
This beanie came from a Xaosect who wanted to add a little spice to the people of Sigil. Unfortunatly this same Xaosect died when atempting to place the beanie on the head of the bleaker factol.

The beanie is a red and has a blue strip across the middle. It has a little bell on the top that rings ever time that you take a step. This little bell also activates the effects of the beanie.

the stats are as follows...
It has a minor curse on it that makes it so you can't remove it form your head. There is no will save to take it off b/c it is fused with your hair. So to take it off you must really ripp off your hair.

SHAME: everytime the bell rings ( 40% chance to ring every time you move) You have to make a will save (DC 20) or be effected by shame.
when under the influlence of of shame, you run away weeping from everyone, untill you are completly alone. They will refuse to return, or talk to anyone, untill they have been alone for 1d6 minutes.

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wait, it fuses with your hair?

what if your bald, does it just fuse with your skin? or can you take it on and off at will?

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I guess that if you were bald then it would just fuse into the spots that your hair should be. or does that really make any sense.

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Featherbottum... that beanie idea.... sucked so friggin much you should be clubed over the head, dragged into a small dark room, starved for a week, stabbed in shallowly in the skull repeatedly, castraited so as not to spread your stupidity, have your eyes gouged for fun, and your toungue cut off along with your fingers and toes, then set free to go your merry way. end.

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Ven? Is that you?

Dude, making a new account to dis someone is so.... God.

If that isnt Ven, sorry. And if you though the Beanie is messed up, skip back a few pages and check out the eternal drugs.... and Dognuts.

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Well Olathjaluk at least I can come up with something creative other than sticking my head into miscellaneous dark small places that smell like crap. Also I would like to see you post something other than an insult. that can contribute to Planewalker.

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Who ever the hell that Olathjaluk is needs to shut his friggin mouth. that was really friggin mean. personally i like the beanie of shame, jerk. just cause you cant seem to measure up doesnt mean you need to try going around to make everyone your size. your short man syndrome is like refuse polluting this forum effing jerk.

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eyah it's ven and frid all over anyway yeah that's as bad as some of my creations

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:shock: WOW.

And everyone jumps to Fonikon's defense.

Its so touching...

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Quote:
Featherbottum... that beanie idea.... sucked so friggin much you should be clubed over the head, dragged into a small dark room, starved for a week, stabbed in shallowly in the skull repeatedly, castraited so as not to spread your stupidity, have your eyes gouged for fun, and your toungue cut off along with your fingers and toes, then set free to go your merry way. end.

Hey no insulting berk... clueless sod... The whole point of this thread is to post items that make no sense, are completely wierd and unusual, or seem to be created by those that had just spent thier whole lives cracking up becuase they saw something that they were never meant to see... things here are meant to be barmy and unusual... so pike off!

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Thats very true I do beleive that everyone here that posted somthing is at least half barmy the item fonikon posted is a good example also check out pages 1-5 they get pretty weird as well

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Decanter of endless intoxication

this ones for you Sphagetti man- Fidrikon has inspired me for this one

This bottle when opened, spills forth a never ending supply of liquer (chosen by the player) until it is closed again. when the liquid is ingested in any amount they atoumatically turn to a drunken stupor for 1d6 ronds giving the following penalties and bonuses: -2 diplomacy, bluff, intimidate, balance, jump, and climb checks, a -1 to attack rolls, a +4 staggering bonus to AC and strangely enough a +2 to damage rolls

enjoy ^^

sphagetti man's picture
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thank you tenshi i love it *takes a swig* ah thats much better

ven
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Quote:
Featherbottum... that beanie idea.... sucked so friggin much you should be clubed over the head, dragged into a small dark room, starved for a week, stabbed in shallowly in the skull repeatedly, castraited so as not to spread your stupidity, have your eyes gouged for fun, and your toungue cut off along with your fingers and toes, then set free to go your merry way. end.

It is not me and i am not mean to people i dont know, and i completely agree with Mirabel he does need to shut his freakin mouth.

ven
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and i also think that the beanie of shame is great

ven
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Ihave a new item and here it is,

TISSUE BOX OF WONDERS
upon reaching into a seemingly ordinary box, your hand get's stuck(for good) unless you make a fortitude save of 15, and then you pull out a tissue, but your hand is instantly drawn back in to the box.

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Alright Frid and i were inspired and stats have yet to be produced (it was created two periods ago) but we'd have a Red Bull like a potion, and when drank a flying spell would be set for a period of time. its growing Smiling

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thank you for clarifying that and o whatever you apparently have never even came close to being barmy other wise you see the sheer normalcy of the beanie there is far stranger items here that can and will make think tweice on things

P.S. sorry about ranting to all yas

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hahaha oh so wity dont you think. you know red bull gives you wings... flying spell.... period of time... uhhhh haha? no? alright it was worth a shot. Puzzled

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Quote:
hahaha oh so wity dont you think. you know red bull gives you wings... flying spell.... period of time... uhhhh haha? no? alright it was worth a shot.

lol, yeah that'll work, hmmm, fly and haste XD

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perfect for those times you need to flee until the enemy flys after you

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anyways hres a new one
Adventuring for Dummies:
this large yellow tome is the ultimate modifier to those wanna be explorers
this grants +1 to intellegence and a +4 to any one knowledge of your choice

ven
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the whole red bull gives you wings makes no sense it should be like red goose, or purple duck, or orange canary.

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Clapping ring

This ring is more of a pain in the neck then it is useful. Someone thought it would be funny to make a ring activated by clapping. The problem is, it turns off when someone claps too.

And now, for the punchline:
Its a ring of invisibility.

Whatever you do, dont use it to sneak into the feasthall, or any theater. All you need is someone appluading a street performer and you start flickering in and out like a mage having far too much fun with the blink spell.

ven
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This ring is for any classic 80's speculation of nerd.
THE RING OF THE NERD
this ring is cursed(you cant ever take it off) when you put on this ring your face begins to be covered with acne and the only things your char can do id play dnd and chess.
basically you lose 10 points of charisma, but something good is that because all of your party members have to be friends with your char forever.

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yeah that idea sucks nuts. GOD if everyone sucked as much as you do at creating items i would be forced to destroy the internet. I mean honestly i am pretty sure that everyone here doesn't agree with me, but in my opinion your idea sucked worse than Steve Vai.

ven
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first Steve Vai is the best Guitar Player alive and you suck nuts and damn right everyone her doesn't agree with you, i am pretty sure i am not the most liked person in the forum but i can at least challenge you to create something better than my ring of the nerd you jerk.

Oh yeah Steve Vai Beats Joe Satriani any day

GOD
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Errrrrrrrm....

Just wondering, which Idea of mine did you find that sucked so much? Because I'd really like to know. I always enjoy feedback from others.

Or did you not know that GOD was the actual name of an acount? Inwhich case the emphasis on the word was purely by mistake.

BTW: you should never go out of your way to destroy the internet on account of one person. You should at least have 10 specific people or it just becomes an over reaction.
Not to mention, doing so would make alot of people over in CERN very angry.

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no i actualy did not know that there is a person as blasphemous as you (god) to take the lords name in vain

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Hmmmm, thats weird. Thats the second new account with an Invader Zim signature to show up insulting people. Odd...

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what is up with the whole names under our sign on's?

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Its your 'rank'.

I am pretty sure it depends on the number of posts you've made.

Mirabel's picture
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ok i know this is kinda one of those "you cant make a comeback however many days late" but the whole red bull thing makes sense. Because ya know you got a lil bull, hes all fat and slow, but then he sees red, and BLAM, hes firey and "flying" (often used as a overstatement in describing the speed of someone or thing) to kill or get to the red producing or adorning being or inanimate object. there for its redbull. get it?

ven
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yeah i get it

ven
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Well i have got a new idea and in the words of a true hero

Quote:
RUN FOR THE HILLS

JANITORS BROOM OF SWEEPING
you are walking down the hallway when you notice a broom so you pick it up and all of a sudden you feel a strange urge to sweep(on peoples faces)
basically it's a weapon that deals 2d6 extra damage to anything that is built from dust or dirt. But otherwise it deals 1d6 and 1d4.

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crap i totally forgot my password, this is ven by the way

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I have another idea
GAUNTLETS OF POTATOE EATING
when you put on these pecuilar looking gauntlets you notice you have a strange erge to eat potatoes.
These Gauntlets can summon all potatoes within a two mile radius to help in a battle or just to eat.

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How would potatoes help youi in battle this just doesn't make any sense to me. I can see the use in geting them for food just not for battle.

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I guess it could attach to their leg and irritate them into spedinging a turn cutting it loose.

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Any enemies within 30 feet should be compulsed to eat the potatoes so they set thier attention on the potatoes rather than the party, wih a will save of course

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i suppose they could have their uses. how can you resist deliciousness? how?! they have unlimited power also. i mean potato chips, irresistable (even says on the bag "betcha can't eat just one" oh how i defy them!), once eaten your hands are all greasy you cant hold any hand weapons, your distracted by the intriging saltiness. lets not even go into twice backed potatoes or scalped! *convulses due to extreme pining for them scalped taters*

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