Repentance

Mud inches into every crevice of my body, the viscid grime scratching my skin raw. The taste and texture of grit doesn't bother me at this moment, just as nothing of the chilly forest surroundings registers in my mind. Just kill me please...I have nothing left. The thought is true. My family is being transported to the Abyss by a Lord of the Nine, bearing the alias Leos "Lightbringer." He had stolen my rank as High Priest, butchered my elven kin, and promised the destruction of my Prime world. All because I had aided to open the barrier between the planes and this backprime planet, Urth. Death sounds far better than what I'd find if I return to Nal'ri'kal and the One's temple.

Come...

The four-letter word sounds as though every ounce of Spring's promise of life and Summer's reward of pleasure had been compacted into the single syllable. Yet, I don't have to open my salt-sealed eyes to notice the speaker isn't visible. The voice had sounded inside me. Come. Laughter wracks my body; madness had become the norm. I must be going barmy if I think the One is going to talk to me after what I did... Again the ambrosia-laden diction tolls in my soul. Come I stand, reeling from inanition, and take the first steps toward the looming mountain in front of me. Maybe now He will finally punish me for what I've done. Death never sounded sweeter.

Seven years prior...The beautiful elf maiden, my wife, waved goodbye as I set sail from Nal'ri'kal for the uncharted lands beyond the Endless Ocean. I had recently been promoted to High Priest and loved every moment of it. Finally, I had the power to alter Urth's decay; I could conquer evil and renew purity. The elves would again shine in the glory of the One and our power would be final. Yes, this Nexus, which binds all the multiverse, holds the promise to give us--me--all the might necessary to control the planes...And to think they assigned the role to me. Leos' guidance has proved beneficial, as always...

The ascent to the top is horrendous. Festering blisters continuously ooze from my hands, the saline persperation burning every scrape. I endure only for one desire: to perish. Surely, the One intends to kill me...I cannot foresee any other alternative for the thousands of elves who die each day. On the nights I recall sleeping, I can hear them wail in the depths of the Abyss (another "gift" Leos included in my geas)...Not to mention ever soul I warped on Ome'gos...

Three years ago...'Do you want a place to store your experiments without the church's prying eyes?' My advisor knew the answer to that. 'OF COURSE! I tire of the incessant questions over why I've warded scrying in El'a'katil and why I don't allow them into the lower temple.' He smiled, both brimstone eyes flaring to life. 'I can show you such a place. No one, save the One, knows its existence. You may call the isle Ome'gos.' He flicked his hand in an arcane gesture and the obsidian wall before us swirled into the image of a lone island resting on a vast expanse of sea. As the image drew closer, I noted how vibrant and pure the mountains, shores, and forests were. Even the animals seemed unconcerned to intermingle--predators running, swimming, and flying side-by-side--as though Eden still existed outside the One's scriptures...

I have almost reached the summit. By now, all my clothes are tattered rags of the once regal attire befitting my rank. Sickly blotches of bile and blood cover whatever spots the mud has missed. If any woodland creature lay eyes on me, I must look a walking corpse...fitting for the man who betrayed all that was holy and pure. I wonder how far He'll wait before the lightning strikes and I'm swept away to some lower plane for eternal suffering. I'm beginning to wonder why He delays.

Several months ago...I find it odd to see Leos in battle array. He smiles venomously as he delivers the bargained power. I feel unholy strength power through me as I intone the last of rites, relinquishing the energy into the aperture through the planar channeller, Oya. Now, the Nexus' might is finally at our disposal. With Wrecched scouring the Abyss with Vexill (the soul-stealing rapier crafted by my wife), we will have a continual power source for the apeture...'You are dismissed, Your Grace.' I wheel around to see Leos smirking at me. His right hand resting on the hilt of a hideously carved blade, 'Fool, did you think I would be ruled by a mortal? Your tenure as High Priest ends this day. And,' The fiendish visage melted into the form of a poignantly handsome elf. 'I, Leos Lightbringer, shall assume the role.' 'No!' Twin bastard swords leapt into my hands as I dashed toward the traitor. He smiles as he slips effortlessly between the dancing blades, inching slowly closer and closer to me. His eyes burn mercilessly while he grabs my wrists; incarnate evil blasts through my body and soul, crumpling my frame to the ground. 'Rise, fool. You are of no use to me anymore.' My frame reacts without my consent (how could I be so weak?!). Leos presses his hand to my forehead and intones the words of vile puissance: 'Be gone, Blasphemer! You shall enter El'a'katil no more!' Darkness surrounds me as I hear his voice afar off crow, 'Your wife and son shall perish in the Abyss as your pathetic church crumbles. Both ends shall be swift--praise the One for that!'

A groan escapes my lungs as I topple on the frigid peak. I cannot go any farther. He must either destroy me now or just wait for the lashing wind and icy climate to do that for Him. Father, I have come. Kill me, please. Through the howling gale, His whisper caresses my heart. No.

My heart falters. What do you mean?! Is that not the Just thing to do?

Go to sleep, my son. I will explain soon enough. Blackness douses the fiery thoughts raging inside my head.

Some hours later...Energy swirls around, drinking up the gloom of the frigid mountains. From the brilliance, which blinds organic sight, the One's voice, now filled with unveiled might, calls out. 'This one shall be known as Tsidkenu, "My Righteousness"; for, in his wake, the light of truth shall burn unquenchable, and those who walk with him shall learn of My life…' I feel His presence transfer from the audience I cannot see to me. The mere proximity to this Power nearly shatters my almost dead body. 'You are offered a new beginning, so long as you undo what you have done.' My eardrums split from lack of pressure, and the pace of my heart slackens. Every ailment from my mindless journey rushes in to claim a piece of my soul. 'I must be going barmy.' Blood mingles in the spittle on my lips...The One's voice spoke again. 'My son, you don't have long. Will you recant your evil and accept my gift? My boons are eternal, but the offers are not infinite: Choose.' I felt my lungs collapse under the weight of my frame. Heaving from the effort, a phrase escapes my mouth before the brightness sweeps through me, effacing any trace of existence I have.

'I accept.'