Jack Hammer McStoneface, Private Eye
from the bloodsoaked stories of Drizzle Durden, the dual scimitar wielding half-demon half-dark-elf (with wings!) tortured by a mysterious past
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
That's beautiful. Two tentacles up!
I actually used to play a bard named "Drizzle McDizzle", a dual scimitar wielding drow with ranks in Perform (Rap) and Perform (Phat Beatz). Instead of Summon Monster, he had Summon Fine Elven Bitches.
The dwarf was his drummer.
Totally not kidding.