Sigil
A huge, huge, city
Atop a giant spire
And dozens of berks
How is it?
Planescape Haiku
Thu, 2005-06-02 22:14
#1
Planescape Haiku
Fri, 2005-06-03 00:15
#3
Fri, 2005-06-03 01:00
#4
Planescape Haiku
Nameless One walks
gives Torment freely to
the forgotten few
Fri, 2005-06-03 01:41
#5
Planescape Haiku
Depends on your level of purity but I think it's OK.
What? A contribution? Very well then, one of my favorite forms: triple haiku. Categorize as you will.
Empty places lie
Between the hearts of the worlds -
Sigil waits within.
Atop the proud Spire
Dark, dank, vibrant and alive -
I will be at peace.
Before me my love;
I sigh, burn and am no more.
The Lady of Pain.
[PS: Sorry for nicking your "atop" line there, Vzerii; I didn't even realize I'd done it until after I'd written this thing.]
Fri, 2005-06-03 07:46
#6
Planescape Haiku
Senryu, huh?
A mountain is here,
Now it has dissolved
Such is how chaos works
Before anyone says a thing about the lines, a senryu only needs to have 17 or less syllables.
Fri, 2005-06-03 09:17
#7
Planescape Haiku
Keep em coming guys. These are amusing me at work. 
Fri, 2005-06-03 14:33
#8
Planescape Haiku
Three unrelated ones.
Sod off berk! I ain't
Got time for your cluelessness-
I got stuff to do.
Take your faction and
stick it where the sun don't shine.
I'll live free or die!
Your hands are on fire.
Why don't you burn like you should?
Pikin' Xaosman.
(Last one refering to a PC in the party I DM- a Pyrokinetisist Xaosman who occasionally runs around the Clerk's ward with his hands on fire, just to make trouble)
Sat, 2005-06-04 11:56
#9
Planescape Haiku
"The Folly of Belief in Location"
Who is Clueless?
Those who are out but not in?
All are Clueless then
-------------------------------------------
"The Grey Waste"
Colours bleed from me
Walk the Wasted Wilds alone
Trading Souls for a Taste of Hue
--------------------------------------------
"The Last Prayer to the Lady"
Take and strip me bare
Slip from me that which hides
All I am for you
Sat, 2005-06-11 05:20
#10
Planescape Haiku
Take and strip me bare
Slip from me that which hides
All I am for you
This one is my favourite so far.
BTW, isn't it "against the rules" to extend an image/scene/whatever over multiple verses? (not regarding Scion's but some of the earlier ones)
Sat, 2005-06-11 08:19
#11
Planescape Haiku
"Mazes"
Canny Cagers fall
into the trap without a lock
Lady's Grace.
------------------------------------
"Discussing Belief"
Took my doubts
Sigil Coffeshop
Deva's ideas of God
Sat, 2005-06-11 08:30
#12
Planescape Haiku
An old attempt -
Now the open city
Is closed with anger...
Like one's hatefilled life.
Sat, 2005-06-11 09:37
#13
Planescape Haiku
BTW, isn't it "against the rules" to extend an image/scene/whatever over multiple verses? (not regarding Scion's but some of the earlier ones)
Not really. Each verse is intended to capture a singular moment in time, but it's not a requirement. In fact, on some level what we're doing here is actually a traditional Japanese 'thing' to do with hiakus. Folks would gather at a party and do a round robin of poems. Each one building off of the one before it untill they had roughly a hundred poems linked in a chain.
Mon, 2005-06-13 10:22
#14
Planescape Haiku
Shorn Squares
Angles broken from edges
City made from the pieces
Sun, 2005-06-19 19:41
#15
Planescape Haiku
The world bends and twists
An idea changes planes;
a gate-town slides, lost.
The World-Ash bows in
dream-winds of the Astral void.
One sterile seed falls.
Congealing ylem,
Wild possibility,
A new demiplane
Wed, 2005-06-22 01:25
#16
Planescape Haiku
Here is one with three linked together about the Lady returning to the Void:
- I stand at the brink
- Looking into the chasm
- of my life thus far
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- I wring my hands so
- Slow into the Void I go
- Watch me now falling
- Feathers falling black
- As night they were to me here
- At last I've come home
- Kind of dark I know, but I like it. What do you all think? (Please be kind as this is my first post on this site LoL)
Sat, 2005-06-25 22:33
#17
Planescape Haiku
Kind of dark I know, but I like it. What do you all think?
I like it too. It's intriguing. I especially like the "black feathers" part, because it hints at strange inhabitants of the void.
One thing: the middle haiku rhymes, and the other don't. Is this deliberate? It's somewhat disconcerting.
Hm, another thing. I'm not sure about the second line in the last haiku. What does "they were to me here" refer to? The feathers being black as night? If so, it seems unnecessary. Or are "they" something else?
I might write it something like:
Feathers falling black
They meet me in the darkness
At last I've come home
Sat, 2005-06-25 23:00
#18
Planescape Haiku
I like it too. It's intriguing. I especially like the "black feathers" part, because it hints at strange inhabitants of the void.
That was the point of the feathers, glad you caught on to it, not many would. 
One thing: the middle haiku rhymes, and the other don't. Is this deliberate? It's somewhat disconcerting.
It is supposed to rhyme and the others are not supposed to rhyme. It is to make the reader feel a little off balance like the Lady is.
Hm, another thing. I'm not sure about the second line in the last haiku. What does "they were to me here" refer to? The feathers being black as night? If so, it seems unnecessary. Or are "they" something else?
I might write it something like:
Feathers falling black
They meet me in the darkness
At last I've come home
"As night they were to me here" refers to the change in the colors, or rather the absence of color. And how like the night they are, referring to the absense of light, light making color from reflecting off items. The absence off all things increasing as She falls, within Her mind. Like I invision the void to be. "They" refer to the things around her, not only the feathers. It is subtle, maybe too subtle?
- But I do like what you have written as the second to last line in the Haiku as well. It gives it s slightly different meaning though. Still, it works.
Sun, 2005-06-26 00:18
#19
Planescape Haiku
"As night they were to me here" refers to the change in the colors, or rather the absence of color.
Oh, I see. I read "as night" as a continuation of "black" from the previous line. You could use punctuation to make sure that doesn't happen.
Your middle line has two qualifiers. "As night they were" is basically a complete clause (though backwards from the usual way we'd write that phrase, "They were as night"). Then you qualify it twice: "As night they were to me" specifies who thinks they are black as night, and "as night they were to me here" specifies where this thinking is being done. Neither qualification is strictly necessary. Is there any other description you could fit in the poem instead?
Sun, 2005-06-26 00:33
#20
Planescape Haiku
- How is this?
- I stand at the brink
- Looking into the chasm
- of my life thus far
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- I wring my hands so
- Slow into the Void I go
- Watch me now, falling
- ---------------------------
- Feathers falling black
- Whispering eddies calling
- At last I've come home
Sun, 2005-06-26 17:34
#21
Planescape Haiku
I like that much better, Ophelia.
Here's something:
Imagination:
Much ado about nothing.
Life is but a dream.
the archon whispered,
"Better to serve in Heaven.
"Abandon all hope."
Sun, 2005-06-26 17:50
#22
Planescape Haiku
I like it. The "much ado about nothing" reminds me of the play of the same name by Shakespeare. A little less flowing than your other ones, but the imagary is lovely.
Sun, 2005-06-26 19:45
#23
Planescape Haiku
I like it. The "much ado about nothing" reminds me of the play of the same name by Shakespeare.
I had the idea of a "mostly literary allusions" haiku, but on second thought I'm against it.
Tue, 2005-06-28 10:29
#24
Planescape Haiku
For when Azzy gets bored.
Bael
Welcome to power,
So young and vibrant,
Yet another pawn.
Dispater
Careful little child,
So safe and secure,
In a tower of blocks
Mammon
Under you sink,
Atop of gold mountains,
But others sink first.
Belial
Little children,
Take such pleasure,
Pulling wings from a fly.
Leviathin
Treachery and deciet,
Stabbing me in my back,
To fufill my plans.
Lillith
Toys cower in fear,
Awaiting the end,
Of your tantrum.
Beezlebub
Little spider,
In your web,
So blind to all else.
Mephistopholese
Little schemer,
Full of cold plans,
For the next time we play.
Wed, 2005-06-29 19:00
#25
Planescape Haiku
That reminds me; this isn't a haiku, of course, but it's planescape...
Seven Mounting Heavens,
Nine Descending Hells
Avernus’s Barachiel’s,
Lunia is Bel’s
(From a conspiracy theorist claiming that Chaos vs. Law is the only true duality on the Great Ring, and that all the good vs. evil screed is out there for marketing purposes only.)
Wed, 2005-06-29 20:22
#26
Planescape Haiku
Even though it is not a Haiku I like it.
The references to the heavens then immediately to the hells is a great one. It puts the reader in a juxtaposed mindset. Like I said very cool.
Sat, 2005-08-06 23:52
#27
dare not moisten your mouths
How Archons Teleport, in Two Verses
Teleportation:
Chronias inside every
archon, everywhere.
Shining light without
space or time, guiding the Mount
everywhen at once.
On the Genesis of the Quesar, in an alternate metrical pattern:
Cracked mud shatters:
Light! Elysium greets her
newborn children.
Sculptor-slavers
tumble back Heavenward,
damned into Grace.
The Peaceful Plane
suffers neither rebels
nor servitude.
Sun, 2005-08-07 00:36
#28
Planescape Haiku
Rip? How'd you get so good at poetry? Seriously - how - b/c damned if I can get my brain out of prose form to do stuff like That ^ ....
Sun, 2005-08-07 00:58
#29
Planescape Haiku
Things are always more complicated than they seem like they should be. I was trying to find words that fit the metre I wanted naturally, without being forced (two short pairs of syllables, then three, then two), but this short-syllable, long-syllable, pause-for-breath stuff is really, really hard. I'll work up to it slowly, I think.
But to answer your question, I try to think of unexpected twists of phrasing and vivid metaphors. And often fail. Poetry isn't something I do very much at all, so I'm still trying to figure it out.
Thu, 2005-08-11 09:09
#30
Planescape Haiku
Compiled version of the poetry of this thread can be found: /fiction/files/PS-Poetry.pdf
Just let me know if we have updates or revisions needed! I'm considering doing some art to go with this. 
Thu, 2005-08-11 13:15
#31
Planescape Haiku
This is about the river Styx:
Black rivers flowing,
I have found a spark of light,
The eddies run deep,
Swirling images
Catch my eye, then leave me here
Wondering, What if
I am caught here with
You my love, Losing the part
of me I liked best
So what do you all think? Feedback is most appreciated
Thu, 2005-08-11 15:56
#32
Planescape Haiku
I am caught here with
You my love, Loosing the part
of me I liked best
Minor quibble - I suspect that should be 'losing the part'. Other than that, it's pretty neat. I'm not exactly sure if you're following the 'thematic' rules of a haiku - you might be, I'm just not really familiar with all the little haiku rules - but I like it nonetheless.
Thu, 2005-08-11 16:34
#33
Planescape Haiku
Thanks Bob for the edit *oops* I changed it so it is actually spelled correctly. I am glad that you liked it.
Tue, 2005-08-23 23:24
#34
Planescape Haiku
the lady of pain
her shadow flaying cutters,
she floats serenely
Wed, 2005-08-31 22:16
#35
Listen, all ye here! / Thrice three lines shall tell you of / Th
One: the Rule of Three
Center and extremes
See two things, there is one more
All things come to three
Two: the Unity of Rings
When the task is done
You will always find yourself
Back where you began
Three: Center of All
Compass all the planes
And yet you will never find
Existance's heart
Wed, 2005-08-31 23:32
#36
Planescape Haiku
Eco-mono, let me just say; that ROCKS. Really good.
Fri, 2005-10-28 02:25
#37
Planescape Haiku
I haven't done anything even resembling haiku in ages, but after seeing this, I thought I would try my hand at it. Here's what I came up with:
In her is the heart
Of the leafless tree swaying
With its dark burden.
------------------------------------------------------------------
She echoes without
A voice, footstep, or weapon--
Not without reason.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Her shadow stretches
Bearing hidden velvet fangs
Tide of rising screams.
Sat, 2005-11-05 00:12
#38
Fashionably Late to the Party
These are somewhat disjoint in subject.
Call is the whispers of the planes, or the sake talking.
Wheels inside of Wheels
Loss of Self to their turning
Balance Forgotten
Black Tan Grey and Blood
Life glittering on Spires
Death shining on Blades
Mon, 2005-12-26 20:35
#39
Planescape Haiku
Wow, I'm surprised this thread made it so long. Here's another senryu.
As one of the Dead
I gaze upon those sad souls
Refusing True Death
Thu, 2005-12-29 07:49
#40
Planescape Haiku
Where is my lost home?
A flash of light and I'm here
Alone in the cage
Mon, 2006-05-22 17:40
#41
Planescape Haiku
Spire
Infinitely high
At the center of the planes
Above is Sigil
Converts
You make a good point
I see the wrongs in my thoughts
I'll join your faction
Mon, 2006-05-22 19:53
#42
Planescape Haiku
Gray Wastes:
Bloody battleground
horror springing eternal
bringing all hopelessness
Carceri:
Betrayer's stronghold,
Prison of the Outer Planes
Watch your back or die.
Abyss:
Shifting forever
Layers unknown, so that
They can't be counted.
Pandemonium:
The windy caverns
lack surface or sanity,
Madness consumes all.
Limbo:
Chaos without form,
Existence without reason,
Chance is incarnated.
Ysgard:
The Heroes' Domain;
The World Tree stretches its limbs.
The home to the Norse.
Arborea:
Forests and the glades
Natural Beauty in action
Wilderness of gods.
It's a good first effort, but I think it could use some tightening:
- The repetition of "huge" seems weak to me. You've only got 17 syllables; make all of them count.
- The second line has six syllables in some dialects of English, seven in others. I assume you pronounce "spire" as a full diphthong? [i.e. "spy-er"?] I don't, saying it something kinda like "spyre" *curses lack of IPA*, but if you do then that's OK.
- I don't know about what others might think, but "giant" also seems weak to me. You might want to consider a stronger word there.
- "With" dozens of berks, surely?
- "Dozens", again, seems sort of underwhelming. First, it's factually wrong: Sigil's got thousands of berks, not dozens. Second, it's not a particularly strong word; it's got something of an offhand, generic quality that doesn't seem to be the tone you're looking for.
My main criticism is that the haiku doesn't seem to be focussed. Sure, it's about Sigil, but what, particularly, is it about? Is there an emotion you're going for? A visual image? A metaphor? Generic descriptions don't work in haiku (as I've found to my sorrow): you really need to hone in on one thing, whatever that might be, and target all your words towards that end.That said, this strikes me as a fertile ground to play in and you've got the seeds of several haiku there to play with, so I look forward to seeing your further efforts
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