Lecture: Magic Theory in the Creation of Metamagic

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Eco-Mono's picture
Joined: 2004-05-10
Lecture: Magic Theory in the Creation of Metamagic

Okay, a little background. In a campaign that's been going on for the better part of a year, I play a fellow named Deckard. He's a mage, but a scatterbrained one, almost to the point of psychological disorder. In any case, the party has snuck into a stronghold of the Illumnus Maer, a society that believes it's better to have too much magic than too little. Deckard has hung behind to draw some angry golems while the rest of the party flees, making quick excuses to a receptionist (in the lobby of a large building apparently reached through a sack) in order to continue. Deckard eventually follows, and is immediately assumed by the receptionist to be "the guest lecturer." Deckard completely forgets what he's here for and assumes he's just forgotten the lecture, and proceeds down the hallway, ignoring his party fighting the guards (who have been clamboring out of portraits), until he reaches the doors of the lecture hall... which he unlocks with knock, goes through, and absentmindedly closes behind him, re-locking them.

I'm sharing with you today a transcript of the hillarious "Lecture" that followed.

A loud knocking is heard on the door to the lecture hall. Deckard: I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, it seems the next class is rather anxious to get in. So... so I'll make it short.

As you all know, metamagic is one of the best tools of those mages who want to add some impatien... improvisation to their spells without making their own. Because that's tedious. Except when they're pretty good. Like this one I made that's... no wait. Metamagic. Yes.

Many are unaware of where metamagic comes from. Good news is that it's just conversational phrases in the language of magic. Bad gnus on the other hand are angry bovines, no wait... that the language in question is the Language Prime-weevil, er Primmyevil, no no Primeval. Yes that's it.

As you should know, this language is VERY complex and annoying, so we don't expect you to take classes in it yet. HOWEVER, the folks who HAVE have invented all kinds of phrases that are easily tacked onto our spells in order to make them do other things. Going slap-dab like this is of course a larger drain on one's supply of magic...
Deckard here pauses and writes on the blackboard (which has so far been left blank) the word "MAGIC"
... so you need too expend more mental faculties, err facilities to get them going at the beginning of the day than the spell would normally take.
However, for a mage without a VERY large spellbook, metamagic is essental. With it, if say you're going someplace like a library where you can't talk, like perhaps a library... there you can make all your spells SILENT!
At this, Deckard erases "MAGIC" from the blackboard, mumbling to himself as he does so. In its place, he writes "SILENT" with some Draconic lettering underneath it.
I assume you've all taken Draconic as it's pretty standard for mages... yes?

Most of the students in the lecture hall respond with a "yes" (although at least some are just faking it). A few comment something to the effect of "I hate dragons". Deckard continues...

Well, for the rest of you I'll write it in Common too. He erases "SIL" and writes some Latin-esque letters in the Common script.

This is the incantation for Charm Person, which as you know makes someone like you. But don't get all excited, all you young wizards who hope to catch chicks, no disrespect, sorry ladies! They'll see it coming a mile away if you start blathering on in Primeweevil... GAH Primeval.
But apply a little MetaMagic...
Deckard here erases the whole board except for "ENT" and writes some other stuff in Draconic
and you can disguise the incantation as a simple kind word and charming smile! But... er, you didn't hear that from me. In any case, this particular Metamagic is used when preparing the spells in order to key the spell's more important words and signs to mudgain err mundane things, and so it seems normal when casting! Only downside is that you'll need to separate all the words from each other, so if you want to cast something before they know what's hit them, you'd need to learn the phrase for... Deckard erases everything but "N" and writes "QUICK' " in front of it, so that the board reads "QUICK'N".
Now, an example. I realize that it seems to you I'm looking entirely normal and just blathering on about nothing, but as you can see there is CLEARLY a pie on a table next to me now!

To most of the students' surprise, a pie really DOES appear on the desk at the front of the lecture hall. At the same time, the knocking behind Deckard resumes at a louder volume. Take a better look at the pie, it's not really real, I haven't figured out how to do that yet. Deckard turns around to yell: WILL YOU BE QUIET I'LL BE DONE IN A MOMENT!

AAAAnyway, what you see here is the Hidden metamagic applied to Silent Image, which allowed me to cast it without you even knowing! Fascinating isn't it?

All right... I've got a conference on transmutation theory coming up so I'll wrap it up.
As the knocking is continuing, and with a second party member assisting, Deckard seems to be still more agitated by it. Striding up to the door, he yells: I'LL SIGN YOU UP FOR SENIOR LEVEL SPELL-SPARRING LAB IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT INFERNAL KNOCKING! AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE STILL FRESHMEN!

The knocking finally stopped, Deckard walks over to the blackboard. He begins to put bullet points down, then opts to erase everything and write "METAMAGIC!!" in huge letters instead.

I hope this has been interesting to all of you; I'm always available to discuss new Transmutations as I'm a magic inventor myself, made some interesting things in fact... any questions, folks?

This particular session was one I had quite a bit of fun at, despite my character's partial uselessness. I just felt like sharing, and hey, that's what the Sensorium is for, eh? Eye-wink

Clueless's picture
Joined: 2008-06-30
Lecture: Magic Theory in the Creation of Metamagic

LOL oh that's *priceless* Smiling

Krypter's picture
Joined: 2004-05-11
and I thought I could babble

That's quite amazing for an ad-lib. You have a very talented absent-minded professor on your hands. Smiling

Fonikin Featherbottum's picture
Joined: 2005-02-14
Lecture: Magic Theory in the Creation of Metamagic

That story is really cool I want a person in my party like that. That would be really intertesting addition to the entire experience. I would like to try it.

Loki De Carabas's picture
Joined: 2004-12-14
Lecture: Magic Theory in the Creation of Metamagic

That is so wonderful I am going to use it as a guest lecturer IMC's Mage's Guild. If you come up with anymore of them I would love to see 'em!

BTW, if you were in my game that would have been good for an XP bonus for roleplaying!

<doffs hat>
Well done, Sir!


DungeonMasterLoki aka George Williams

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Eco-Mono's picture
Joined: 2004-05-10
Lecture: Magic Theory in the Creation of Metamagic

After that performance, our intrepid DM couldn't resist throwing Deckard another public appearance. Apparently, the fellow who he's been interpreting was quite active on the university circuit, and since he's gone missing some time ago... well it's just meant that Deckard has the perfect cover!

Anyway, he's been looped into giving another speech, this time more along the lines of a religious sermon. See, insofar as their deity (one Rejold) agrees with them about magic in excess, the clergy and the university are somewhat intermeshed... anyway, Deckard is once again on stage, and here's the result!

Deckard: My brothers!

Most of you are probably familiar with the story of the Sorcer. . . Archmage’s Apprentice. An ambitious apprentice attempts to wield his master’s magic, and ends up creating a huge ham of a, er, mess.

...Er, anyway, it ends with the lad getting spanked.

Now, most of us hear this story and we think to ourselves that the apprentice wizard was a damn fool. However, there is a moral in the apprentice’s actions for this conflag. . . contam. . . all of you folks. Yes, that’s it. We have been gifted by Rejold and this great country’s founders with the greatest base of great magical power ever to be seen in this great world. And yet, what do we do with this bounty? Most of us SIT ON IT.

Here Deckard laid his staff down at the edge of the stage and, indeed, sat on it.

We’re willing simply to go from day to day to day to day to day to d. . . that has already been said, letting our magic do our work for us, and eschew grasping for more. . .

So then, what has the Sorc. . .. Archmage’s Apprentice got that we haven’t? What is it that we’ve made a bowl of icky tapioca pudding instead of the great pecan pie of Rejold?


Deckard pointed out at the audience, and paused for several seconds (overdoing his dramatic pause). Suddenly, he sprung up, and extending his staff over the croud, yelled,


six-second pause


four-second pause

Thank you.

With that, Deckard walked off-stage.

wgar's picture
Joined: 2006-01-10
Lecture: Magic Theory in the Creation of Metamagic

very funny... but it's shame that I have been MYSELF in some lectures like that... which always remind me of this: PhD and intelligence are completely different stuff. :x

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