Issue 2. "Coming out in July!"

What is the art that is needed for this new issue?

-Ophelia

If you don't get anything from me by the end of next week - then you can officially slap me and henceforth refer to me as "that chap who's all mouth and no trousers" :shock:

I've had time to write one more article, but it's not meant to be included in the next edition of the LSE. This is meant as a satire article (although if you don't find it amusing, I cannot give you back your wasted minutessorry). Be warned that my humour often elicites groans and little else...

Competition Ignites Imagination Around the Planes
by Sed Lyneman

Planars, primes and proxies have been working themselves up in to a fever pitch of excitement for the next Inter-Planar Moving of Sphere competition. The competition started off small on a back-water Prime too poor to engage in any major wars. Having experienced several millennia of relative peace and poverty, the local inhabitants decided to ritualise their warfare so as to cut down on the costs. The last remaining flint axe had broken a century before and they could not spare any wooden clubs as they were being used as fire-wood to survive the winter. Unfortunately since none of the sides could agree on the rules not a single team survived the first competition.

However, in the subsequent competition it was agreed upon to do away with weapons after one of the more annoying heralds had his head cut off and used as an improvised projectile across the battlefield. It's not quite known to this day why this head got passed around, but after reaching one end of the field the other side picked it up and began a counter-charge with the head being kicked in front of them. For the remainder of the day as combatants were swept backwards and forwards across the blood-soaked field the heralds head was always in the thick of it.

The following year it was decided to once again use a head as a means of keeping track which side is in ascendancy and which side is on the retreat. For some reason there were very few heralds in attendance and after being jumped on by both sides, they were "volunteered" as victory markers once again. Centuries passed and this form of warfare became so ritualised as to be seen by many as more of a sport that a means of dividing up the parched and barren territory where they scraped out a living on. When a spelljammer was forced to make an emergency landing on the world they happened to witness the Moving of the Head competition and the rest as they say is history.

Since that time the competition has been renamed to Moving of Sphere as not all races who participate in it actually make use of a head. In the Upper Planes anything from pine-cones, balls of leather stuffed with deva feathers, charity collection tins and even the occasional hollyphants have been used. In the Lower planes... well, let's just say that less than pleasant things are used.

After the Second Great Upheaval occurred at the end of the recent Faction War in the City of Doors, an upsurge has taken place in those interested in the competition and it is rumoured that the Rilmani have built a colossal coliseum close to the Spire in which the up-coming competition will take place in neutral territory. The favourites to win the competition this year are a squad of Maruts fielded by the natives of Mechanus.

The Tanar'ri side has been warned repeatedly not to over-run the pitch with competitors and the fact that the yugoloths are not taking part has chant-mongers rattling their bone-boxes that the 'loths have already fixed the competition before it is started. In the last competition the guardinal team from Elysium was on the edge of victory, but fell in the last few minutes of the competition when a pitch invasion of bodaks took place. The Tanar'ri representative has denied any involvement although they have agreed to make massive reparations in the form of large shipments of Abyssal red steel to the Upper planes.

This year Pandemonium is actually fielding a team for the first time, although the Githyanki have for some mysterious reason decided not to enter the competition. This is despite their usual vigour in ripping in to the team fielded by Limbo, their coach has strenuously denied rumours that the royal sponsorship of his team has been withdrawn. The Planar Trade Consortium is currently having a sale of merchandise related to the competition in all the major gate-towns and a shop has been set up in the Lower ward that exclusively caters for those after competition memorabilia.

Hi. Just wondering, y'know..........

No really, I still use old SIGIS archives articles as plot points. I L.O.V.E. the creativity that comes from this site, so whenever it comes out, i'll read LSE #2....