Game: We're Still not Quite Dead Yet

OOC: I'm not sure where Dunamin is. I really hope we don't have annother disapearing PC.

None of you seem to suffer any ill effects from the poison save for burning throats and stinging eyes.

Almost instantaneously in response to Eru'maho's novel aproach to knocking, one of the black doors swings suddenly open.

Standing in the doorway is a female arcanaloth, she cringes at Eru'maho's potential improvised weapon, which is only inches from the tip of her snout (though slightly higher).

Despite this threat, she wears a wide friendly grin, on a soft-featured brown face. She has large, smiling eyes that match her fur exactly. The Arcanaloth is tiny, standing barely five feet tall, and dressed in an absurd multicolored silk robe covered in scroll cases and more pockets than you can count. She wears more jewlery than Shemeska (though, all said, hers is probably much cheaper). It jingles and rattles as she bounces enthusiastically from foot to foot. Cute and fuzzy would probably be the adjectives that spring to mind (to the extent that it is appropriate to apply adjectives like 'cute,' and 'fuzzy' to a greater Yugoloth). Extremely unnerving would also be an apropriate description. The diference is is further emphasized because she is the exact opposite of Yebena, who is tall and unhealthily thin, with sharp features, narrow eyes, and the sneer typical of so many Arcanaloths.

(Eru'maho: she reminds you of a very large Kender. You need to make a bluff check to hide your extreme hate--illogical and misplaced as it is.)

"Please don't wave that around. You might hurt me," without missing a beat, she continues in an enthusiastic sing-song (you suspect that it would grow increasingly more irritating the longer you heard it), "I am Uaphes, please follow me. I am suppoused greet you, and make sure that you don't get lost or break anything while you are here. This way, follow! What shall I call you all of you? If I called him," She points to Canzonzabar, "Relatively-Small-Spiky-Headed-Devil-Thing, he might take offense. Thankfully, I know Yebena ap Ezeya's propper name is Yebena ap Ezeya. If I called her Large-and-Scary-Fuzzy-Headed-Arcanaloth-Thing-That-Takes-Offence-At-My-Extrem-Impudence-And-Will-Cause-Me-Immense-Pain-If-I-Do-Not-Show-Her-The-Respect-Due-To-A-Yugoloth-Of-Her-Rank, she would doubtless live up to her name."

"Indeed, Small-Fuzzy-Arcanaloth-Thing-Possesing-Very-Little-Tact-And-Even-Less-Good-Sense," snaps Yebena, cutting her off before she can continue on her rant.

"Very well, Yebena ap Ezeya," she says, perhaps unwisely, "Follow! Follow, everyone! Fashaq will be a while. That means you get to spend more time with me! Aren't you happy? Why aren't you smiling?"

Uaphes leads you inside, down more winding stone hallways that seem like lava tubes. They are mazelike and unmarked, and you very much doubt that you could find your way out if forced to do so without a guide. Thankfully, Uaphes stops short of skipping, as she walks--just barely. She still manages to make a dreadful racket, as the contents of he pockets and jewlery rattle around.

OOC: Since Trias seems to have set the precedent for utterly terifying comic relief, I figured that I'd contribute my piece every now and then. I was intentionally saving the violet color for this too. Also, for the record, Uaphes' personality is strongly based on me in real life when I've had too much sugar and/or caffine for my own good. I am of course considerably larger, far less cute, and rather a lot more human.

"You do not like me, plant-mortal? Why? I quite like me, and in my own humble opinion, I think that I'm a pretty good judge of people."

Drum claims the last remaining armchair, though sitting would not appropriately describe his chosen position of rest. You wonder when he will get tired of his handstand.

"Off please!" says Uaphes shrilly but forcefully--without any anger showing in her tone. "They are nice chairs. Meant for sitting with six legs on the ground...unless you do not have one foot. Then five legs on the ground." Even Su'ore Drum has the sense to listen to an Arcanaloth...ocasionally.

Turning her atention suddenly and unexpectedly towards Sidharta: "I do not think that Su'ore Drum has teeth for gnawing on bones, but he may try if he wishes. Oh. Wait, no. That's probably not a very good idea, actually. It would be extremely rude of me to offer food that might be poisonous to guests. I almost forgot that I poisoned my teeth today,"[/] Uaphes manages to sound geninely apologetic and sincere as she taps a tooth with a clawed hand to illustrate her piont.

"I'm surprised that nobody except Yebena wants anything to drink. I do not poison things in my drinks cupboard." There is a pause and a sweet looking smile. "If I was offering you a drink from your drinks cupboard, I would worry. Very much. Yes, indeed. You know, Yugoloths and poison and things like that. Anyway, if I poisoned my drinks specifically for the one time in several thousand years that I have had mortal visitors they would taste bad all the times I did not have visitors. Since I use my drinks every day, it is not a good plan to inflict suffering. If you do not want alchohol, or other poisons that people put in bottles and drink, I have nice happy things too. Many of them glow in different pretty colors...very safe, I promise"

Uaphes gets up and kneels down to retreive something from a cupboard. She stands, holding a bottle (wine bottle sized) and two thin glasses. All three are made from black volcanic glass. She rattles and clinks her way over to Yebena, who accepts the glass that is offered to her. Uaphes fills Yebena's glass with a black liquid flecked with what look like tiny red embers, still glowing. She fills her own glass before returning to her seat and putting the bottle away telekinetically. Yebena takes a small, thoughtful sip and nods in what you take to be aproval. Uaphes also drinks thoughtfully (and mercifully, in silence) for a while before speaking again, she is slightly quieter and more composed now--only slightly.

"We have time to pass. If you will not drink, will you talk? I could talk to Yebena about magical theory. I think rest of you would not find that conversation very interesting, especially in Yugoloth. Some of you you probably lack the atention spans to smile and nod politely for a even a few hours." this sounds distinctly like a threat to Su'ore Drum and Bruce's ears.

"Worse still, our conversation could get into politics and philosphy," Adds Yebena with a raised eyebrow. Definitely a threat.

"Or, I could be a good host and talk about things that they want to talk about in a language that they understand. What do you want to talk about?"

"Are you disapointed that I do not live up to your expectations of evil? But, if you were as fortunate as me, you would be glad too. One third of my time is Fashaq's. The other two thirds is my own to do whatever I want with. I can study, read, and work on my own projects in that time. Being a long way from Tower politics is good for me too. Not every Yugoloth wants to sit on top of Khin Oin or The Tower Arcane or wave the metaphorical banner of evil in everyone else's faces and screech. I'll just sit here and make a killing off all of the people who do. Dangerous and stupid is not my approach of choice. This is the attidude of most of our kind outside of Ghenna and the Waste--well, at least those of us who are not incompetent or exiled like," Uaphes coughs politely to hide the name she mentioned. Yebena adds a short, bark-like laugh and contributes a sharp remark in Yugoloth.

Uaphes grins in respones. "You know, Yebena is actually very funny, but Arcanaloth jokes tend to fly over the heads of anything your age, 'Loth or not. Especially puns. Not to imply that any of you is short. That would be very unfair. Yebena's humor must be attracted to big ears...That would explain why it goes over your heads, but not mine."

"Oh, no, I hate my work. It's the lack of it that I like. I want to know about you now."

Poke? If nobody has anything else to say, I'll move things along.

OOC: That would require an opposed sense motive check (I rolled for you below, 3+17) Yebena rolled a natural 20 on her bluff check, though.

"The only thing that Uaphes has neglected to mention is that voulenteering one's superior to run your own errends without asking first is extremely ill-advised. Dragging me around the planes requires some incentive."

Canzon:

Yebena's expresion and body language does not even flicker. It is as she didn't notice, but as always, her ears follow the conversation, proving this wrong.

OOC: I'm going to move things along in the interest of advancing plot . I will provide a summary of what

happened. Don't post yet

Uaphes rises at a single knock on the door. She opens it, and bows her head slightly to annother brown

and black furred arcanaloth you assume is Fashaq. He has red, eyes, and thin fur, and he breathes with a

slight rasp. His fingertips are also badly burnt--surprising since Yugoloths are highly resistant to fire

and immune to acid.

"Hello master. You are early."

Fashaq bows his head slightly to Yebena and adresses her in Yugoloth. The three arcanaloths talk among

themselves for a few minutes. Near the end of the conversation, those of you who understand Yugoloth

hear a "WHAT?" from Uaphes. Thos of you who can't can easily tell from her body language. You cannot

tell who told her this surprising infomation, whatever it ever it was. Uaphes composes herself after an

Explaination from Yebena, who leaves the room with Fashaq.

Adressing everyone else: "Yebena and my master have other business to discuss. They will return when

they so choose, but I doubt it will be long. Niether likes wasting time. I will continue to entertain you as

best as I can while you wait."

Uaphes retreives a small and unornamented harp carved from black wood from a cupboard and then

seats herself in the chair Yebena has left . It has 13 steel strings, and the only other notable feature is

that one side is open (That is, it is shaped like a 7, not a D). Uaphes is surprisingly skilled, and her song

is complex and hypnotic. (DC 42 will save to avoid being fascinated by the music)

"You may talk while I play." (OOC: If you succed on your will saves, which I'm rolling below to speed

things up.)

Canzon 33
Drum 20
Sidharta 37
Trift 18
Bruce 39
Erumaho (immune, and not targeted)

OOC: I'm just going to put this up, let you describe your unique states of stupor. Then I'm going to fix my computer, and put something else up. For now, I want to avoid hurting it any more than it is.

OOC: I added the +4 vs magic. But if you use the ability, you are not affected, and you can see that Eru'maho is also unnafected. Uaphes does not seem to be doing anything suspicious besides playing the music. She seems more focused on her instrument than anything else. Eru'maho can tell the same, and he senses no hostile intent.

Bruce and Eru'maho:

You see Uaphes eyes look up briefly from her harp, regarding both of you

(Bruce, Eru'maho) "Relax. I'm not going to eat you or anything horrible like that. In fact I've been instructed specifically not to eat you. On pain of...well, pain, I suppouse. Sit. Listen if you want. Stick your fingers in your ears if you don't. But, this is better than waiting and doing nothing, no?"

OOC: Computer is sort of fixed now. I'm going to bump things ahead a bit, since nothing signifigant

will happen between now and your return to Sigil. Forgive any discontinuity and cutting off, but we don't seem to be getting anywhere.

You all leave safely from Fashaq's demiplane, though everyone except Bruce and Eru'maho has considerable trouble recalling the last half-hour of thier time there in any detail. After finding a Styx trubtary somewhere in the jungle and calling Maerenloth, the group arrives in Hopeless. You return to Sigil through the portal to Sigil there. You are more than a day ahead of schedule.

Canzonzabar receives a sending from Ephaez within an hour of the group's return instructing the party to meet him as soon as posible at the taproom of the Damned Wanderer. (Canzon knows this to be a fairly upscale if rather obscure inn and tavern in Hell's Gate that caters mainly towards mortals connected with the Baatezu. It also serves Devils who want a safe, heavily guarded, and private place to work out of during thier stay in the Cage. It has as many comforts as Dis as the staff can reasonably to get away with without being nailed for it (all out of plain sight, of course). Service has improved considerably after the Faction War. While the Harmonium never really had a strong foothold in Hell's Gate, the Sons of Mercy stay away from the place altogether.) Anyone else can also find this information out with a DC 20 knowledge local check.

It is early evening (6 hours past peak) in the Cage, and the bulk of the foot trafic is off the streets at

this point. You get to the Damned Wander fairly quickly. The inn looks as obscure as it is. It is a tall, thin nondescript grey stone building with four stories and an attic. There are several narrow barred windows on each level, but the building's sides are otherwise unadorned. The inn is identified only by a small wooden sign over the door, with the name written in Infernal and Planar Trade.

The taproom of the inn is slightly smoky and fairly dim. You can see no obvious security anywhere. The taprooroom has been intentionaly designed to have dreadful acoustics. Between that and the (reasonably) loud music, other conversations are very dificult to hear. The serving staff is entirely mortal, all of them are finely dressed and seem highly trained. The patrons can be divided into three groups: Wealthy and important looking mortals sitting alone or in small groups, Baatezu negotiating with mortals, and Baatezu (mostly Erinyes and Falxugons) who are meeting with thier fellows or enjoying whatever miniscule ammount of time to themselves they get from thier superiors. (Canzon recognizes many of the devils as junior staff in the various embasies and the Ministry of Mortal Affairs.)

You can see Ephaez (still appearing as a half-fiend) sitting alone at a small table near the front entrance.

(All) "I have arranged for a private room. We will conclude our business there."

Ephaeaz adresses the nearest waiter telepathically, who turns to face him. You are lead to a back room with enough chairs for everyone, even Trift. The waiter pulls out chairs for everyone, and then leaves with a bow.

"I trust that you have brought my package?"

Yebena holds out an outstretched but empty hand. "Pay me, Baatezu."

Epheaz retreives a small steel case from his robe and hands it to Yebena, who, after shaking the box, retreives the nondescript bundle of cloth ( it is about 4 feet long, and 3 inches in diameter) from her own robes. He presses on it to make certain that the object in question is present, and then tucks the bundle into his robe.

Ephaez then pulls out several other smaller steel cases for everyone else except Bruce, Canzon, and Yebena.

"Mr. Maxson, if you would like to stay for a minute after we conclude our business here, to discuss your payment, I would apreciate it. Naturally, I cannot give it to you in a box. I also have annother offer of employment for those of you who are interested. Specifically, I want someone dead. A mortal wizard. I will not propose a contract of any kind. If the mortal is dead within two days I will pay those of you accept my offer ten merts each. Results are what counts. I also want the body. I have the information you need, and I will leave it to those interested to figure out where to meet to discuss any plans you may have."

(Erumaho) "If there is any doubt, mortal, my threat to you still stands. Cooperate and get your pay, or come to terms with the consequences of denying us."

(Canzon and Yebena) "While I am sure that both of you would truly love to dirty your hands with even more stabbing and physical violence, I have a annother proposition for you that you may find less...distasteful. We can discuss it after the others leave."

OOC: Heh. I'm proud, and special . This is just the introductory arc. The psychological trauma happens later :twisted:

"Before you run off, I would like to know which of you are interested in my offer. I will give those of you who are the information nescesary to carry out the job. Unfortunately, I cannot give it to you beforehand without a contract to ensure secrecy. I understand that you are peery of Baatezu and contracts, and I am doing my best to acomidate you. Regardless, I have other business, and would apreciate if you told me now and then plotted on your own time somewhere else."

"Out. You know that an offer of ten merts is a waste of my time."

"Very well."

Drum mutters something about how assasination is no fun when it's paid work, and bolts out the door with his box rattling in his hands.

(Bruce) "There was some dificulty obtaining a spelljammer of your specifications. I could not convince any of the few captains we have to seize a ship for you. I have instead obtained a partially complete Infernal spelljamming ship. It is fully functional and in all ways superior to other ships it's size. The only problem is that it is currently unarmed, and unfurnished. It may also be somewhat less traditional in design by comparison to wooden vessels. Since you requested that it be lightly armed, I have also included four small balistae on board the ship. It should be a simple matter to install them where you choose. It may also be a bit large for your liking. If so, you could concievably remove the ram and extra sails."

OOC: Where would you pick up a spelljammer from Sigil?

Sidharta:

The box is steel, unornamented, with only a simple catch on the lid. Inside, there are exactly 50 platinum coins. There is no magic on the box.