Game: The Painted Cage

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Game: The Painted Cage

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The Painter’s mural on the Great Gymnasium is one of the wonders of the planes.

Seeing the Painter’s mural is in fact one of the requirements for any Sensate namer to achieve factotum status.  The majority of beings who see it for the first time find themselves awestruck, losing all sense of the passing minutes and even hours.  Others may see it every day for months and years, and yet find new images and nuances within it every time.  It runs the entire length of that side of the Gymnasium along Astoria Road, which is even more amazing for it was supposedly painted in a single night without any witnesses.

It takes several viewings before the average person actually notices the activity on the opposite side of the street.  A permanent linear faire of artists, entertainers, and craftsmen has sprung up along Astoria Road, for the mural serves as a muse and inspiration for artistic types throughout the planes, which may have been one of the Painter’s intentions all along.

In typical Sigilan fashion, ‘Astoria Row’ is an ever-changing mosaic of styles and artistic traditions.  Elvin jewelry makers from Arboria set up next to kaasta craftsmen selling bone and abyssal steel implements, chitine spinning pottery from hardened webs, and orcish tattoo and branding artists.  The facades of the buildings along Astoria Row are plastered with artwork and fliers advertising services, craftsmen, entertainments, and taverns from throughout the city.  There is heavy competition for space, and the posters are usually several layers thick as fliers are plastered over one another, before the whole affair is torn down for free cook-fire fuel by the poor.

The row actually extends down cross-streets and alleyways for several doors, and fills the squares at either ends where Cipher Lane and Cadence-of-the-Planes Boulevard meet Astoria, respectively.  It is an unwritten rule that unlike other markets in the city, the pace here is decidedly un-hurried.  The artists don’t shout out their wares like in the Grand Bazaar.  Someone standing appreciating the Mural or another piece of art will remain unmolested and not bumped-into for as long as they need stand there.  Still, it is not like there is no activity.  The square at Cadence-of-the-Planes is especially prone to be host to entertainers, as it is closer to the Festhall.

********

It was a fine day in Sigil.  Well, as fine as what passes for ‘day’ in Sigil can be expected to be.  The sulfurous fumes of the air were by-and-large pushed up above the rooftops by the winds of open portals.  The grey light of peak flooded the streets, making it just bright enough that the goblinoids and other light-sensitive beings pulled up their cowls.

On the Cadence end of Astoria Row, a Xaositect jester was giving a performance.  Most of it was the rank foolishness most Sigilans expect from Xaositects in general, but succeeding at poking fun at itself.  A few pieces were more original, though.  Like the juggling act where he threw a dagger, a burning torch, and a healing potion (which he ended up needing as he purposefully only caught the other two at the dangerous ends).

“Hello hello newcomers!  Goodbye goodbye gentleman who is leaving without tipping the hat,” he indicates an old shoe on the ground where he’d been encouraging people to donate their jink, “Stay stay people who are enjoying this fine peak in Sigil with me!”  He bows and takes off his multicolored jester’s hat, then puts away the props he’d been using (two rapiers, a wand of telekinesis, and a suit of armor that fenced him then fell apart at the lightest touch of his rapier) inside the hat.

“Now kind wanderers in this City of Doors, I need some volunteers from the audience.  We will reinact a scene called ‘How I Got This Torn Robe of an Evil Priest of Evil’, by Stitch.”  He pulls a six-foot coffin out of his hat and stands it up against the wall.  He then pulls out a black robe with a yellow flaming eye motif.  There is a big gash in the side of the robe and a bloodstain that never quite washed out.  The robe is on a wooden hanger, and there is a small hook inside the coffin, so Stitch hangs it up inside the coffin.  He then reaches in the hat and pulls out a small round shield and a chainmail shirt.  “Who wants to play the brash young warrior?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Yes, you with the face!”

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“Marvellous!”  

“Marvellous!”

 

A pale delicate hand flies up from the center of the crowd, waving about with enthusiasm – far and well away from where the jester pointed. It sets in motion for the scene, seemingly in a beeline as if unhindered by the increasingly unsettled crowd and clearly outpacing the real chosen recipient.

Where the still-waving hand passes there are stirred remarks, then murmurs, a scream of surprise, and more than a few mumbled prayers. The crowd parts in its wake instead of ahead of it, the reason soon becoming clear as the owner of the hand emerges – stepping partially through an obscenely obese craftsman at the front.

 

The hand is connected to what likely was a bright colored sleeve, emerging from what seems to have been a stylishly hued set of coat, waistcoat, and breeches, matching what once was the latest Sigilian fashion in dress shirt and cravat. Though the lining, rings, and cufflinks all appear to be polished noble metals they do not sparkle, nor does much other light reflect on his person.

He ascends, keen-eyed observers noting that his feet somehow drift slightly through the steps. An eager smiling man that looks as if his skin should have had a very dark complexion, and his curly hair as if it should have been black as ebony. But then, understandably, it is hard to make out fine details with the wispy ethereal protomatter that drifts around him.

The last thing he looks like is the warrior the jester requested for. What he does look like is a colorless, avant-garde artist that might have been considered a nobleman far and away from Sigil standards.

 

***

 

“Splendid! A dashing lad of daring do, I shall be!”

He steps up to the jester with a silent pace, feet still occasionally missing the level the ground is supposed to be at. Casually, he leans forward and inspects the shield and chain shirt closely.

 

“Ah, but what a dull hero I would be were the tools not of properly heroic display. Respectfully, your Pranksteriness.”

The pale man nods apologetically to the jester, a set of hammer and chisel suddenly in his hands. There are a rapid set of sculpting movements as he works on the shield with his back to the crowd, before stepping back to survey the work just a few moments later.

The shield now appears to have a grandiose knightly emblem displayed.

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Dust and smoke and fire

Dust and smoke and fire motes dance up from the forge where he stood hammering away on the latest armor he has been crafting on, the work not yet done, but he seems sufficiently ahead of scedual that he can take himself some time off to leisure, his muscular back and bald brow glistening in sweat.

He turns to his assistent  (read: slave) and says "We will finish the armor in the next week, u have time off till then, or to help the other master as he sees fit, for now, wash and rest, and see to your equipment, i will call u when you are needed, now i will see to myself, go.."

His blue eyes scan the forge for all the remnants of his crafts, and puts them in a ton, with the other scraps, the armor he puts on a heavy oak table adter he has cooled it down with water enough that it would not affect the wood it now rests on.

He then proceeds to go to his private chambers and takes a cool bath, washes himself, and clothes himself in a romanesque way, a kilt, and toga to cover his chest, and a mantle over that, his sandals are sturdy leather with iron nails holding the straps together, iron clasps are set in several positions to keep all his flowing clothes seemingly fastened on his person, his upper chest he adorns with a electrum gorget, with a large eye  set in the middle, it looks almost lifelike, and has a slithed cats  pupil in it which seems to blink now and then.

His skin seems leathery and weatherworn, as if his earlier life was spend in a constant climate of heavy beating sun..

He sports several intricate tattoo's on his body (yet to be defined) and also wears several seemingly simple iron but intricate rings, of no real value to anyone else, but thy look of high quality nonetheless. he also wears a more colourful ring that seems out of place with the rest of the rings. (yet to be defined the looks)

he dons his armor, an apron style studded leather and buckles a exquisite trident to his back on a leather harness that is part of his apron, his mantle falling partly over the tridents handle.

He walks out of his personal room and walks to a central office adjacent to the smithies, and picks a little bit of clean paper of the bureau, then scribes a note on it, and puts it on the desk of his colleague.

He steps out onto the street and breaths in a lung of fresh air, sighs a little when he looks up into the sky with a look of nostalgics, and then proceeds towards the Gymnasium, and Astorian row, he walks at a leisure pace, and in a quarter of an hour he arrives at the beginning, or end, of Astorian row (depends on the view of the traveller if he sees it as the beginning or end of the road at any chance) .

He has no paticular reason to be here apart from enjoying the sights and seeing the crafters and entertainers do their trade, he dwells a bit to see the tattoo's done by the orcs, but seems evenly interested in the Kaasta created abyssal steel implements, then hears several gasps and shrieks and turns around to see an apperition fly by, he instinctively fingers his electrum gorget, but does not attempt to use his powers, as he knows and has seen such sights before in the years he has been living in Sigil.

He silently watches as the apperition works his way to the front on the invitation of a chaosy street performer, and is pleasantly surprised when the apperition produces his handywork on the shield, it interests him in a nice way, and he works his way slightly to the fron but not in the first row, he prefers to watch from slightly behing the rest of the crowd, an instinctive reaction from living in a oppressive society.

 

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The jester looks at the

The jester looks at the misty figure with smile.  "Oh, excellent.  This will be a memorable scene, I'm sure.  Remember, you are young and headstrong.  You keep saying things like "I'll take point" or "Leave this to me", as well as the occasional "I wasn't supposed to touch that?"  Now, I need someone to play the wandering druid with a vow of poverty and an aversion to soap,"  he pulls out a shabby brown tunic and a walking stick made from a tree-branch, "The self-important priest of righteousness without a sense of humor," a white flowing robe comes out of the hat, along with a steel helmet and a rolled up scroll ( "His cudgel"), "And the spellslinger of questionable talent!"  He brings out a tall conical hat and a dark blue robe, both with yellow stars sewn on.

"I will leave it up to the audience to guess which, if any, of these fine fools was in actuality our narrator in disguise."

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Darad, flesh still smarting

Darad, flesh still smarting from his morning salt scrub, looks over at the gathering crowd. His business seemed to have been following his philosophy today and he suspected that the performer just down the way from him might have something to do with that. Sighing he looks at his most recent piece: a life-sized sand sculpture of a kneeling hezrou and hefts the sand-sculpted longsword required to complete the piece. 

Darad rises up to his rather impressive full height, blade’s tip pointed at the sedimentary fiend and plunges the blade down with all the might in his gaunt frame. A plume of crimson sand erupts from the point of impact, mimicking blood spray as the centre of the blade collapses, leaving only the hilt protruding from the sculpture’s chest. Still, the strike had done its purpose, faults spreading from the ‘wound’ across the body and causing the ‘skin’ to slough away. As Darad stands by his creation, keenly observing his work, the  fiend appears to wither and decay, succeeding layers of coloured sand crumbling away in a glorious visual paean  to entropy.  

Once the red and grey dust begins to settle, the hezrou now resembling a pair of large, decayed legs in a puddle of slag, Darad turns and walks towards the crowd, curious as to how his attempt at capturing the beauty of entropy will compare to that presented unwittingly by the rest of Sigil that day.  

As he strides away from it the dusty remains of Darads piece stir and begin flowing towards him, most snaking its way into the pouches of his belt but certain streams appear to merge into his robe, creating a web of scarlet and purple veins across it’s previously plain grey surface. 

Reaching the fore of the crowd with little difficulty (the texture of his robe makes him rather unpleasant to brush up against, much like sandpaper) Darad leans on his spear/staff and observes the performance impassively.

__________________

"We're making a better world. All of them, better worlds." - Anonomous Harmonium Officer

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"For a lark, i will play

"For a lark, i will play the spellsinger of questionable talent" Says Manahu with a great smile on his face, and with that he steps forward, and bows to the jester and the audiance, and reaches out to accept the blue and yellow robe and conical hat..

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"AH!  Wonderful, the cast

"AH!  Wonderful, the cast is filling out nicely!  Now, your lines will be things like "I meant to do that" and "Oops, sorry, my bad"

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“Delighted to make your

“Delighted to make your acquaintance, my wizardly friend!”

The ghost nods to Manahu while inelegantly trying to wiggle into the chain shirt – he obviously has little experience wearing armor, if any at all. Finding little success and unaccustomed to weight on his shoulders, he frowns in frustration and the shirt suddenly falls through his frame and to the ground.

 

“Good heavens and foul netherworlds, I thought this attire would be lighter. Ah, here we are…”

Dropping any pretense that might have remained about being solid, the apparition takes hold of the armor and moves it through himself, manifesting the rest of his body gradually to become substantial until the chain shirt sits in place.

 

With a clumsy grip on the shield and his tiny sculpting hammer brandished in the other he strikes several heroic poses, the dull gray of metal contrasting clearly with the rest of his semi-transparent figure.

“Fear not the ghastly Evil Priest of Evil, my fair comrade!” He clears his throat dramatically with a valiant look to the horizon. “Leave this to me!”

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after donning himself with

after donning himself with the robe and conical hat and putting his sleeves of the new robe up, Manahu goes: "Hah, my arcane powers will support you, my brave knight, i will give you the strenght of 10 men, to fight the evils we confront, ... Abra'Caaa....echem.. whatwassitagainiwassupposedtosaynowinthearcanesyllable?..wuups..."     and steps subtly behind the "hero" and takes on a look of arcane might and supreme innocence.. (his trident still sticking out of the collar of his new robe)

 

18 Bonus for bluff to do
I rolled 1d20+18, the result is 28.
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"You aren't professional

"You aren't professional actors are you?"  The jester asks with an exagerated expression of suspicion.  "That's two.  Now, The druid can just hang there,"  He pulls out the telekinesis wand and the brown tunic and branch hang in the air.  "He was just kind of there any way, like the spig of razorvine under your steps you have to cut every other peak.  The unfunny priest has to have a speaking part though.  He fairly never shut up, in fact.  He'd always refer to himself as 'we" like "We are not amused", "We don't agree", and "We're out of here if this continues".  Every good comedy deserves a straight-man, who's game?"

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Azure wrote:"You aren't

Azure wrote:
"You aren't professional actors are you?"  The jester asks with an exagerated expression of suspicion. 

"Hah, my good man, I am something contrary to that, but i am good in convincing people..."

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"You, sir, with the sand. 

"You, sir, with the sand.  You'd be perfect for this part, for this priest's paltry personality was mildly abrasive"

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Darad gives a wry smile,

Darad gives a wry smile, "Why not, we could certainly play that role." He steps up to the rest of the group, leaving a small trail of sand behind him and accepts the helm, places it on his head somewhat uncomfortably.

"However we will not be requiring to other acoutriments, our faith will provide for us." As he speaks Darad's spear contracts and thickens into a stout, albeit somewhat long, club which he leans on as his robe rustles and shifts, bright white sand pushing its way to the surface with a red and purple sunburst on the back.

__________________

"We're making a better world. All of them, better worlds." - Anonomous Harmonium Officer

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"Excellent!  Our story

"Excellent!  Our story begins, as do many stories of this type, inside a tavern, a bubhouse, an institution of inebriation."  Stitch pulls an apron out of his hat, and with a little rumaging around also comes up with a tray, a couple of cups, and a half-full bottle of wine.  He also has a blonde wig and a couple of shirts which he stuffs into his own jester's suit to simulate breasts.

"This particular house of intoxication was named something like 'The Sultry Lass' or 'The Wanton Wench'.  Then again, that might have just been the barmaid, not the sign.  Oh well.  Anyway, our intrepid band met over a few drinks, that is except for the priest, who was a teetotaler. Ahem."  He changes his voice to a higher register, "Hi boys.  Say who's going to pay for the drinks."  He gives the ghost in warrior's clothing a wink.

"I'll handle this!"

"You can handle this later tonight, big boy."

"If this continues, we're out of here."

The crowd laughs, getting into the impromptu performance.  Stitch uses the telekinesis wand to drape the brown robe on the walking stick and lean sets the bottom of the stick in the old shoe so that is stands on its own.  The xaos-jester gives the cups and bottle to the players, and stands aside with the tray, narrating in his normal voice, "Now lest you begin to think this story is one of casual murder, let me assure you that the Evil Priest of Evil was a dastardly villain.  Heck, he lived under a ruin, and well deserved to be robbed and shived.  But I get ahead of myself.  In a dark corner, watching the band of heroic drunkards, and their little amused companion ... "

"We are not amused."

" ... were two unsavory characters who had the audacity to hit on the barmaid in a most rude and vulger fashion." He pulls out two small hand-puppets.  Both are wearing little suits of dark leather armor and eye-masks to make them look like robbers.  Stitch then starts molesting his false bosum with the puppets while alternately chuckling villainously and saying "You cads! Please, just leave me alone." in the maid-voice.  

Between lines, Stitch must have been casting some sort of ventriliquism cantrip, for he whispers low so that the crowd cannot hear, but his voice comes out of thin air near to each of the players, "Just improvise the action, I'm mostly making this up as I go along anyway."   

 

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Darad makes an exaggerated

Darad makes an exaggerated roll of his eyes and glares at the 'swordsman' "It is hardly surprising that you would choose such a bawdy establishment. We believe we should intervene immediately shouldn't we Oui?"

Thinking himself rather clever for his little play on words Darad tries to hide his chuckle at his own joke and drops to his knees making a show of praying vigorously at the 'molesters', grimacing, gesticulating and genuflecting in an attempt to bring down divine wrath on the evildoers.

__________________

"We're making a better world. All of them, better worlds." - Anonomous Harmonium Officer

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“Indeed we shall, my

“Indeed we shall, my somber and sober companion, indeed we shall!”

Mortimer draws his chisel and displays it demonstratively for the crowd. “I’ll take point!”

After giving the crowd a suitably dramatic pause to react to the horrible pun, he turns to give a mean look to the hand puppets – which comes off more as a disapproving frown.

“You two vile culprits of most inappropriate manners, seize your manhandling of this fine and extraordinarily voluptuous damsel in utmost distress!”

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"I will, ehm, now what was

"I will, ehm, now what was i...uups, MIGHTY arcane.. please work.." *cough*... and with that he tries to use a spell of holding on one of those thugs, which seems to fizzle...

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"These two womanizing men

"These two womanizing men man-handing the woman were mainly known as men from a band of men who were robbers, thieves, brigands and bushwackers, though in this case since there were only two we'll call them Robber and Bushwacker.  Now Bushwacker, though rough on the outside, was of a craven heart.  Robber, on the other hand, was more bold, and when confronted for his debauchery, instunctively struck back.  *ahem* What're youse guys about, oy!  Get up out me face or'll hand youse yer own head, oy!"  The left-hand puppet gets aggressive, while the right hand puppet 'stands' behind.  "However, these two bad boys were no match for the diverse set of skills arrayed before them."  Robber starts to fight with the warrior.  Meanwhile, the other hand puppet dips its head and covers its ears.  "Shut up with the damnation and divine wrath already, I can barely hear me own sinful thoughts."  With a subtle move, Stitch nudges the old shoe, and the walking stick and brown robe fall over, hitting Bushwacker over the head, and he drops the hand puppet on the ground. 

There is a smattering of applause and laughter, but by and large Stitch is losing the crowd.  Now that the shoe is occupied, nobody even tips the performance as they walk away, but the Xaositect jester doesn't seem to notice nor mind at all.  In fact it seems he is more interested now in playing with his new friends than entertaining the crowd.  There are quite a few who stay, however, whether insterested in the present performance or hoping the Xaositect will do something random.

[wow, nat 1.  Looks like its up to the PCs to save the show]

0 Bonus for perform to do
I rolled 1d20+0, the result is 1.
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*Cough*, "Here goes..." and

*Cough*, "Here goes..." and with that, Manahu starts singing in an arcane rhyme in Celestial and Infernal, mixing the 2 seemingly unrelated languages in a mixmatch yet fluently enough to smoothly blend it into one whole...

12 Bonus for perform - sing to do
I rolled 1d20+12, the result is 17.
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“I do say, my lyrical

“I do say, my lyrical friend, that tune has a nice rhythm to it!”

 

While fencing with Robber, Mortimer mixes up his fencing with some lively dance moves. The ghost eventually gets more vigorous and less focused on actual combat - at one point saving the “druid” walking stick from the ground, fixing the blonde wig on top of it, and dancing salsa with it.

10 Bonus for Perform - Dance to do pull some sweet moves
I rolled 1d20+10, the result is 13.
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Darad looks around, and

Darad looks around, and while he is delighted by the dissolution of the performance he is somewhat disappointed that entropy is not revealing her power with a little more flair.

He realises that he must look more like a misplaced audience member than a performer and makes an effort to look at the others stiffly and disapprovingly, which only results in him looking like a pompous and irritable misplaced audience member.

Feeling that he should probably contribute something to the performance Darad raises his hands dramatically "I call down the flames of the divine upon you evil-doers!" Amid the hand waving Darad casts a silent image of a column of silver tinged flames pouring down on the two "miscreants".

2 Bonus for to do Perform
I rolled 1d20+2, the result is 4.
14 Bonus for to do Use spellcraft to make convincing flames
I rolled 1d20+14, the result is 24.
__________________

"We're making a better world. All of them, better worlds." - Anonomous Harmonium Officer

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What remains of the

What remains of the gathered crowd applaud at the spontaneous performances of the actors picked from the crowd.  The surprising skills of the volunteers hold the rapt attention of a small group of what can be only described as die-hard fans of art and performance.

Stitch holds the left puppet, "Bushwacker" in the cascating flames.  "Yeee!  The flames o' purity is scourin' me soul clean as the fresh fallin' snow ... an it be the most horrible feelin' I ever felt.  I've never wanted to be be sober more than I wants it right now (and there been many times I've wished real hard I was sober instead o' chokin on me last meal).  Oh I regrets all me sins, tho I love 'em so, and begs the mercy o' all the heavens upon this wretch I yam (and I be a horrid, murderin' son of whore, too).  Lemme go off now and find religion, any one'll have me, and devote me life to churchly extortions and such."

Meanwhile, with his right hand, Stitch has "Robber" continue fencing the ghostly 'warrior'.  When Manahu starts to sing the puppet coks its head.  "Oy what's that?  What're you doin'?  What kinda gib'rish is that?  You know that's real distracti ... ugg"  Stitch clunks the 'distracted' puppet's head on the hammer and drops it on the ground.

" ... And so the robber and the bushwacker were defeated, and the barmaid was saved from almost certain buggery."  He raises the pitch of his voice again.  "Oh thank you.  Those two were, I think, bandits from the forest north-east of town.  Oh they a rough lot, I hear."  The 'barmaid' glances around and leans forward to (loudly so the audience can still hear) whisper.  "My papa used to say there was an old gatehouse up there.  Probably in ruins by now.  Past Bald Hill then a dozen miles or so farther.  There's an old road, overgrown now, east of town that used to go round Bald Hill and up to the ruins."

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“A gatehouse you

“A gatehouse you say?”

Mortimer lifts his sight from the “barmaid’s” fake bossom with peaked interest.

 

“Might said (or at least whispered) house possibly shelter more villainous ruffians in dire need of being not altogether unsubtly straightened out?”

 

“Shall once again my merry band of somewhat competent and only partially intoxicated fellows brave the dangers posed by highway robbing waylaying scoundrels?”

The ghost spews his lines without missing a beat while posing heroically for the audience.

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"I will teleport us to this

"I will teleport us to this Castle of Ill Repute and.." *cough..wheez*, "then i will smite the door with arcane might!"

With that you hear an arcane plop and sizzle,  and the characters are standing exactly where they started off...

"Well that went smoothly..." Manahu says with a smooth as can be face...

18 Bonus for bluff to do
I rolled 1d20+18, the result is 33.
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A young human man comes up

A young human man comes up to watch the performance.  He is handsome, but wears strange clothes that clearly mark him as an out of towner, and carries a bag over his shoulder.  He watches the jester thoughtfully for a while, then puts down his bag and opens it, pulling out an easle and canvas that are far too large to have fit.  He then produces a pallete and a brush and begins to paint something.

 

OOC: What he's painting is, the character that seems to be missing from the act.  He's painting the barmaid, but using the jester as a base.  Basically he's imagining what the Jester's sister would look like if she was a blong large voluptuous tavern maid. 

I can't remember if we agreed that I could only bring to life paintings that were of a specific person or not.

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Dire Lemon wrote:OOC: What

Dire Lemon wrote:
OOC: What he's painting is, the character that seems to be missing from the act.  He's painting the barmaid, but using the jester as a base.  Basically what he imagines the Jester's sister would look like, but of course with blond hair and suitably large bossums. 

I can't remember if we agreed that I could bring to life paintings that weren't of a specific person or not.

[DM: I thought you needed a model for the actual portrait.  A female version of an existing male individual is stretching it ....

... so make a 'use magic item' roll and see what the fates say!

... and welcome!]

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Stitch uses his telekinesis

Stitch uses his telekinesis wand to make the stick wearing a brown robe move a bit, and his thrown voice comes from it, pitched to make him sound short and squeeky, "I see you brought us to the crest of Bald Hill, wizard, excellent.  We are halfway to our destination with only a short walk through the untamed forest ahead of us.  And I love your choice of destination; the rugged terrain, open sky showering us with nature's glory, and breath of the great north wind causing such shrinkage that no man need feel embarassed among his fellows."

10 Bonus for perform to do save the show
I rolled 1d20+10, the result is 18.
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OOC: So I can only bring to

OOC: So I can only bring to life paintings of people who already exist and whom I had in front of me when I was painting.  Is that correct?  If I for instance just made a detailed painting of a human without modelling it on anyone in particular then I couldn't bring it to life?  It's just that only being able to make exact copies of things that already exist pretty much kills any possible creativity.

I don't have any use magic item skill.  I didn't have any reason to think I'd regularly make use of it.  I suppose I could get rid of my ranks in Use rope and switch them for use magic item if that's ok.

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0 Bonus for Use Magic Device to do
I rolled 1d20+13+0, the result is 24.
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Darad subtly re-shapes his

Darad subtly re-shapes his robe to make it appear as if he has lost an arm in transit. Looking down in apparant alarm he performs a comic double-take, then shoots an accusing glare at the 'wizard' "We are not amused!".

He wiggles his remaining hand at the missing arm and re-shapes the robe to it's original shape, revealing his arm gradually to make it appear to be regenerating.

2 Bonus for to do play his role
I rolled 1d20+2, the result is 17.
17 Bonus for to do produce realistic special effects with his robe
I rolled 1d20+17, the result is 23.
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"Wuups..." *blink, blink* 

"Wuups..." *blink, blink*  "O well..."    (winks with one eye on that humorous part and keeps his smoothly serene face up in an easy effort...(continued use of bluff roll).)

  Edit: i havent changed my oppinion about how things are, but in light of trying to be helpful i have deleted the "offending piece of text". Maybe Azure can do something cool with my nat. 20 roll in his post.

ooc: Perform sing roll to emulate the arcane sounds..., wauw, that sound came off so natural, lol, a 20!

12 Bonus for perform - sing to do
I rolled 1d20+12, the result is 32.
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Darad coughs slightly,

Darad coughs slightly, covering his mouth with his newly 'regenerated' hand to prevent an emission of dust over the crowd.

With some amount of grim satisfaction he notes that there is a small quantity of blood mixed with the usual sandy debris. Upstaging me again eh multiverse?

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Smile

 

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The crowd appauds the

The crowd appauds the special effects.  Stitch uses his telekinesis wand to make the stick-in-a-robe-with-a-shoe dance around like it was in love with an imaginary forest.  Stitch himself keeps the barmaid's dress on, acting the part of an incidental passenger of the teleportation.

"What the ...?  Hey!  This is Bald Hill!  And it's raining!  Well, there won't be any bandits, bushwackers, robbers, scallywags, thieves, muggers, or coney-catchers out tonight.  No wonder those curs at the inn smelled like wet dogs.  Peee-eew."  'She' snuggles up to Mortimer for warmth and protection and puts 'her' arm through his, literally.  

"It was a stormy night indeed, and dispite a small incident invoving a squirrel, dozens of acorns, and particularly fine aim, they reached the ruined Moathouse without incident.  Also without a dry or un-brambled inch of their bodies.  The place was dark, spooky, and a likely abode for any number of knights-of-the-post, so they discussed their plan of attack ..."

 

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Manahu 'looks at the rain

Manahu 'looks at the rain falling from above' and shivers, he shakes his bald head and draws his Trident and stamps it on the floor with a thunderous knock and says "Dierjevaar" , and with that a small magma elemental comes into being (on the safest spot he can think of) and he exclaims: "this will get us warm and dry.. now cuddle up and enjoy his warmth that he brings..."

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A tiefling in the back of

A tiefling in the back of the crowd watching the performance notices the painter also watcing the scene.  She walks over and looks over his shoulder a few moments, and nods.  She is very thin, with short red hair and ash-grey feathered wings.

"Pretty hende."

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Martin stops his painting

Martin stops his painting for a moment to look over his shoulder at the speaker and a look of surprise crosses his face at the sight of her.  "Oh- uh thank you?  I'm sorry, I'm uh, new in town.  Amazing city you got here really.  Not exactly how I pictured it but, I can't say I'm dissapointed."  The human man says with a pleasant smile.  He starts to paint again, but a second later turns back to the tiefling and extends a hand.  "Oh yes, I'm Martin.  Martin Von Kritseln."

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The woman is pretty, and

The woman is pretty, and young looking, maybe in her twenties, if she were human.  She's not.  She has large pointed ears, and in addition to her wings, Martin sees she has a tail as well.  She has well-tailored clothes, in fact they are tailored to account for her tail.  She is dressed in red silks, loose trousers and a sleveless blouse.  On her right forearm is an armored greave of some kind.  Her left hand is missing, replaced by a crystal prosthetc.  The crystal hand is crafted in such a way that the palm is open but the fingers and thumb are together and cupped slightly.  It appears to be made of one piece of crystal.

"Well then, welcome to the Cage, Martin Von Kritseln.  I'm called "Red".  Sensate Red.  Do not let me distract you from your painting.  I'm eager to see how it, and the performance that inspired it, are going to turn out.  Of course, if you at once both paint and converse, I'm fond of that art form too."

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Martin holds his hand out

Martin holds his hand out awkwardly for a second longer before finally dropping it.  "Thank you.  It's a pleasure to meet someone as interesting as yourself Ms. Red..."  He turns back to his painting at her suggestion.  "Ah yes, well you see, I've been trying to expand and improve upon my technique.  I'm fairly good at portraits, if I may say so myself, but I've never really been able to bring original ideas to life...  It's just a bit dull, only being able to copy things that already exist in the world around you.  So that's what I've been working on.  I was told about this place, Sigil, 'The Cage' by my aunt.  She's a wizard and well, she thought seeing the place might help me.  Course I don't think she meant me to get here through one of my paintings...  I tried to paint an image of the ring as she described it, only it popped into this glowy cicle and my brush fell through, well I tried to get it back, and heh, here I am.  Nearly lost my lunch when I saw the city up above, but I got my brush back, and thankfully I thought to bring some things along just in case I got hurled into a wild and crazy adventure, Aunt Eliza always said to be careful of glowing circles, and now... well hopefully she figures out where I've gotten to and doesn't panic.  She always worries to much about me, like I'm a child or something."  He shakes his head slowly.

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Burning Spear wrote:Manahu

Burning Spear wrote:
Manahu 'looks at the rain falling from above' and shivers, he shakes his bald head and draws his Trident and stamps it on the floor with a thunderous knock and says "Dierjevaar" , and with that a small magma elemental comes into being (on the safest spot he can think of) and he exclaims: "this will get us warm and dry.. now cuddle up and enjoy his warmth that he brings..."

"Oh wonderful!  Perhaps your holy flame can burn these rascals out.  Of course the ruins ARE made of very wet stones."  

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Dire Lemon wrote:

Dire Lemon wrote:
...

Martin does not watch Red, needing to keep his eyes on his subject, but he hears her voice as she moves around behind him.  She seems the type of person who has a hard time standing in one spot for long.  "You, my friend, are what we call a "Clueless".  I personally find it a pleasure to meet new guests of The Lady."

"I do believe you will find inspiration in The Laugh, my friend, for there is magic in your hands."

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Azure wrote: Martin does

Azure wrote:

Martin does not watch Red, needing to keep his eyes on his subject, but he hears her voice as she moves around behind him.  She seems the type of person who has a hard time standing in one spot for long.  "You, my friend, are what we call a "Clueless".  I personally find it a pleasure to meet new guests of The Lady."

"I do believe you will find inspiration in The Laugh, my friend, for there is magic in your hands."

Martin continues the conversation as he paints.  Speaking in an infectiously pleasant voice. "Yeah I know, but you know, magic isn't enough right?  You've gotta practice, practice, practice.  If it weren't so much fun I don't think I could do it.  Laughter helps though I guess... yeah... Heh ha..."  He pauses for a moment to chuckle at apparently nothing, though maybe it's the play.  It isn't exactly clear.  "Oh yeah, aunt Eliza told me about the Lady of Pain.  I wanted to paint her, but she said if I did she'd chop me into sausage.  And not the good kind.  The Lady would I mean, not aunt Eliza.  Dunno why she would though."  He frowns for a moment, then shrugs and continues like it was nothing.  "So what do you do miss Red?" He pauses from his work for a moment to turn back to her and smiles as he adds, "Oh, and please just call me Martin."

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Dire Lemon wrote:   "So

Dire Lemon wrote:

  "So what do you do miss Red?" He pauses from his work for a moment to turn back to her and smiles as he adds, "Oh, and please just call me Martin."

"What do I do?  That's quite a question, Clueless.  I breathe, I interact with the multiverse, occasionally I eat, and inevitably have to do the exact opposite.  At the moment I am wandering the streets of the Birdcage and taking in her bounty.  Usually when a Clueless asks what a person does, they mean how does the other person earn a living, but be careful of asking questions like that out here.  You might not like the answer, or it might be a false or vague one, or you might be shown the answer instead of being told.  To answer the question you really meant to ask, I'm a Planewalker, which isn't an answer at all, really ... so you see what I mean?"

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"Planewalker..."  Martin

"Planewalker..."  Martin repeats to himself.  "Oh that's right, I remember!  Just like my aunt Eliza!  Though you're quite a bit prettier than her."  He adds with another of his infectiously pleasant smiles.  "But um... food makes you sick? ... Maybe you oughta try some different food.  I mean, that isn't healthy is it?"

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His momentary coughing fit

His momentary coughing fit over Darad gives the 'mage' an exasperated look and states in his driest voice (an a sand/dust mage can be pretty dry) "Indeed let us cuddle up with the elemental so that we may be both wet and scalded. We shall proceed inside and bring our lords divine might down on yonder evil-doers. At the very least we will be getting out of this rain."

As he speaks Darad causes his accoutrements’ to take on a bedraggled look to imitate the effects of the driving rain before miming striding pompously off towards the 'castle'.

 

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 Manahu grins, "Rather

 Manahu grins, "Rather scalded then drowning, in my humble oppinnion.." nodding at Darad and then moving as if to proceed towards into the building and to dryer with his demi-elemental in front..

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"Well, your auntie was a

"Well, your auntie was a planewalker, eh?  Perhaps your not at clueless as you seem, my friend.  Say, you're rather good."  The pretty tiefling leans in and smiles.  "And can I assume your auntie was a painter too, and gave you some of her old tools?"

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The "players" pantimime

The "players" pantimime going into the building and shaking off the rain.  "I think I won the wet tunic contest, boys." barmaid-Stitch coos.  There are some chuccles from the audience.  "Then suddenly!  They discovered that the moathouse was the abode a dragon!  Yes, that's right, a dragon sure enough, of uh ... azure hue." 

He takes off his hat hand reaches inside ... down to his shoulder!  He comes out with a small pouch made of reptile skin and throws it against the building.  It bounces off and lands in front of them on the cobbles.  There is the chink of coins inside when it hits the ground.  Stitch turns to the audience.  "What, you think I keep a dragon prop?  Twenty feet tall and made of wicker?  Where would I keep it, in my hat?  This is what we've got folks, use you imagination.  Besides, it wasn't a very large dragon.  You see, dragons get busy and have kids like other blokes, so this one was a very young dragon, barely larger than a horse.  Well, a bit bigger than a very large, horse anyway."

"Lucky for our adventurers, "young" all too often also means "not very bright".  This dragon mistook them for more bandits.  Now, the bandits lived down in the old dungeons of the moathouse, and the dragon thought it too cramped down there.  She especially loved to be out in the rain.  The dragon didn't really like the bandits, but they fed her, and she thought they all feared her, which was generally true.  She was also kind of lonely, since she got kicked out of her parents' cave, but the bandits didn't often to stay and chat with her.

"Our heroes' new friend quickly determined the dragon's lack of experience, and turned to the noble warriors ...

"If we can convince yon beast that the bandits' leader is keeping 'her' hoard for himself, perhaps we can turn her against these scallywags.  We have to be careful, tho, or she may turn on all the bandits, ourselves included!"

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