The Illuminated Cant

"To walk the walk, you've got to talk the talk." -Toranna the Gray, Illuminated lantern, fountain of good quotes

Note to DMsThe Illuminated have a number of quirks about them that make them different from everyone else. Whether it's because of Marvent's powers rubbing off on them or just some special touch of their own, they're definitely different. Their blunt, they often don't realize how people can react to what they say, they use strange cant that no one else can understand, and they move as if they weren't sure if they were doing it correctly. It's almost as if they aren't from "around here". Maybe it's all a charade. Who knows?

Well they are different. And to show how different they are in a way other than describing their movement, they even speak differently. I present to you the Illuminated Cant. Just note that this changes as quickly as a cipher moves. Whatever temporal rift affects them does not stay constant.

"What, pink-ears? You ask me what 'raven' meant when you just used it yourself a second ago."Yes you did. You said 'Those ravens down at Cherry Row had better stop their diming.' Don't try to argue, you know just as well as I you did."

"Now do you see? It's already starting to take affect. Don't ask what. You know very well that Marvent (and whatever Rift that he embodies) has already started to rub off on you. Now I want you to ask yourself what 'raven' means. And while you're at it, check 'cross-talk', 'bingo box', 'pink-ears', 'diming'…"-Woodrum the Blade-Biter, member of the Illuminated to a new namer

The Cant"Alright folks. I don't know what you mean when you say that you want to kill me, but it must not be good. Why, you fillers ought to get things strait with the halos that you're working for. I'm no more a baatezu than you are intelligent. I suggest that you deal with that and then come back to me complaining that you can't see through my 'polymorphitis.'"

"Either that or I deal with you right now. You're all pretty weak. I doubt that you could take me even if you all tried at once. Let's face it rubber, but you have no future. The best thing you could hope for when working for the tanar'ri, is to be eaten alive. And that's if they like you, pink-ears."

"Listen you me, before you can't control your motions and get even more red than you are. You get out of the city as quickly as possible. Go to Bedlam, at least. Hide from whoever sent you (because I know they'd kill you if they found you), and hope I don't come around and show you what it's like to be followed. Except I do it better, so what your backs, ravens."-Welsh van Hammel, Illuminated torch, making excellent use of the cant

Bingo-box (n) - one who is slower than averageIt was a joke, you bingo-box. The monkey was wearing the clothes of a Drow! Get it?

Chosen (n) - member of the IlluminatedWho, Murray? He's a Chosen.

Cross-talk (n/v) - common conversation; chit-chatEnough with the cross-talk, pink-ears, I want the whole story.We cross-talked before I killed that rubber of a fiend.

Dimer (n) - a beggarIn the Hive Ward, I was surrounded by dimers.

Diming (v/adj) - to begThere was a tiefling at the store diming for copper.I ought to kill that diming modron!

Eddie (n) - a bladet's one sharp eddie you've got there.

Filler (n) - average citizen; average soldiersuch a big city, I felt like just another filler.A group of fillers waits outside the town to attack.

Fluker (n) - one who is commonly scared and retreats oftenIt's just my luck that I travel to the Abyss with a group of flukers.

Gent (n) - short for agentYes, we've got gents all over the castle.

Halo (n) - a bad person in a high place; commonly referring to regular high-upsWe pull that halo's strings and don't you forget it!

Lantern (n) - equivalent of factor rank in the IlluminatedOnly the best of the best can become lanterns.

Motion (n) - action of mind and/or bodyBefore you lose control of your motions, let me explain.

Outer-box experience (n) - a time in which one is more prone to speak his mind or give informationYou're lucky I'm having an outer-box experience or you'd never get this out of me.

Outsider (n) - a prime; often member of the IlluminatedIf only they knew how many of us Outsiders there really are here in Plague-mort, right under their noses.

Pink-ears (n/adj) - one who is inexperiencedThat pink-ears over there still thinks that the Prime is the center of our multiverse.You pink-eared fool! You really think that I'm a robot that's come to save your soul?

Raven (n) - one who watches his back or is paranoidDon't be a raven. No one is following us.

Ravenous (adj) - paranoid or watchfulThat ravenous fool spent his whole life fearing an enemy attack.

Rift, the (n) - theory of the origin of the Illuminated's powers; short for a temporal riftOne theory is that we all get our enhanced sight from the Rift, just as Marvent does.

Rotter (n) - inhabitant of Plague-mort, gate-town to the AbyssThe Arch Lector treats us rotters as if we were some law-loving berks.

Rotting City, the (n) - refers to Plague-mort, gate-town to the AbyssIt's nice to know that you can hide from your enemies, here in the Rotting City.

Rubber (n) - a foolWhen I'm lord, I'll have rubbers all over my court.You rubber! I was supposed to get into the horse first! Didn't you ever study Greek mythology?

Scullied (adj) - skeptical and sometimes cynicalThat scullied Athar was lucky I have a good temper!

Skinner (n) - a torturer; commonly one who is evilThere are way too many skinners here in Plague-mort.

Skinning (v) - to torture or act as a masochist He skinned that poor sod until he died.

Strawed (adj) - weak or unsafe; frail when referring to a beingI wanted to get out of that strawed house as quick as possible for fear of my life.You mean to tell me that strawed berk down at city hall had the nerve to turn you down?

Torch (n) - equivalent of factotum rank in the IlluminatedAfter much toil and trouble, he finally rose to torch rank.

Turn Flukes (v) - to retreatAfter we lost Bumpkin, we decided that the slaadi were too strong and turned flukes.

Whirlie (n) - benefits of position or rankI demand the same whirlies that any other king would have.