| Just Surviving The Burroughs [Town] Copyright © 1999 by Rasgon Description: Built by ancient prophets, a race of ur-gnomes. The tunnels of Bytopia's inner root-roads converge in a vast city that appears to have been built by giants. "An ancient race of giant gnomes? What have you been smoking?" -Elijah Gibbons, proprietor of Gibbon's Fine Bytopian Ganja. Character: The Burroughs are today a typical cross-planar trade city, though dominated by gnomes of various shades and stripes and backed up by a large number of Bytopian natives. The tunnels themselves lead to around fifty different friendly places in the upper ring, the Outlands, and the Prime. Ruler: The Burroughs are ruled by an elected mayor, a seven-eared gnome named Locorm, jolly, fat, and spicy as the food he loves. Behind his throne is mostly dust and envelops, because his pet rats eat most of the food he drops there. Description: The Burroughs are a good place to pick up upper-planar goods, or to get into Bytopia from somewhere else. Trained Bytopian mountain hamsters, nine feet long with teeth like steel, defend it. Hamster trainers belong to an ancient, secretive guild and must learn hundreds of rodent-like hand signs and squeaking noises to be admitted; a formal parade is launched as each apprentice becomes a journeyman, and as each journeyman becomes a master. Hamster training parades are grand things, filled with chittering and ceremony and everyone wears their best bowler hats and cardigan sweaters for the occasion. The city's ancient bigness is imposing at first, but the rooms have all been divided out into individual apartments. Still, the average visitor feels a bit like a doll sitting on a shelf or a countertop built for someone whose normal size is more impressive than theirs' are. The upside is very up, however, because the city has all of the facilities anyone could expect, with running water, sewage, and lots of storage. For some reason, the ancient ur-gnomes built miniature roads leading up to their furniture that come in very handy these days. There's more: the city has mysterious sources of fuel and heat, and instructions for dealing with various invasions evil deities must send. It's all dreadfully mysterious. Current Chant: The most exciting thing going on in the Burroughs these days is Tunneldaze, sort of a get-to-know-you party the natives hold every so often. There are sales on drinks, and one very upset umbleby who doesn't want to get to know anyone. The umbleby, whose name is Gershwin, is playing his horn very loudly all day. This has disrupted Tunneldaze and several of the sacred hamster trainer parades. Gershwin has been in and out of prison for some time now, so Locorm decided that this time it would be a good idea to stuff him in a box with holes in it and give it to a bunch of travelers, pretending it was a prize. Who knows? Thought his pet rats. It just might work. |
