A Wedding in Sigil: Part 5

Jimmy pulled up his left pant-leg to expose the array of metal bars that had recently replaced his shin-bone. Pug leaned his head back, popped open his jaw, and reached down into his throat to pull out the menacing and thick stock.Reaching into his empty eye-socket, Charlie fumbled about before fishing out a triggering mechanism from that gaping void."Now, I know what yer thinkin'," Charlie began as the devil turned towards them, stomping its way towards the trio. Jimmy - now hopping on just one good leg - tossed the barrel to Charlie, followed by Pug throwing the stock. "What's a set of fine lookin' deaders like us doin' in a rag-tag party like this?"Ichor splashed down to the floor, eating away at solid granite. The devil was looming closer now - 20 feet. 15 feet. 10 feet. If Charlie still had a nose, he could have smelled that acidic drool."Truth be told," Charlie explained as he assembled the array of pieces together with a steady of practiced clicks, "I only came 'cuz they said there'd be some sharp lookin' dames here. And here you are, messin' the whole deal up. Well, I don't appreciate that, Mister. I don't appreciate it one bit."Grinning, the baatezu bared enough teeth to make Uncle Vinnie blush with inadequacy. 5 feet. His breath washed across Charlie, singing the corpse's hair.Snap."But that's okay. Folks like you are what we bring Closure along for, y'know?"Something long and odd was brought up level with the devil's head, almost touching its temple. For a single, brief moment, the baatezu was confused - it was some sort of odd-looking rod-type weapon, but surely too small to do any real dam-The three-barreled custom-made flint-lock/shotgun affectionately nick-named Closure had been called many things, but 'too small' was not one of them.Smoke and ash drifted lazily from the head-less (and mostly torso-less) corpse of the baatezu, with Charlie grinning from the other side of Closure. "And that, boys," Charlie explained as he savored the moment, "Is how you impress the dames."Aasimar bridesmaids flocked to them like children to candy.

He had finally done it.It had been a relentless toil - costing the lives of countless mephits - but Dugalle had finally done it.It was perfect. Everything about the cake was simply magnificient. "This eez," He began, voice quivering with emotion. "My greatest work."And just at that moment, the door exploded with the force of a raging baatezu. And just after that moment, shards of wood splattered atop of the cake, followed by the wretched splurch of a cloven foot crushing perfection into oblivion.And just after that moment, several dozen mephits ran like hell, knowing all too well what was about to come.For the next five minutes, the kitchen was filled with the unique sound of a baatezu being eviscerated, stomped, slapped, crushed, and shoved into an oven all at once.

"Baatezu are attacking!" Amelia began only moments after she stepped into the church's main hall. "They're-""We're aware, dear," Theodore sighed, throwing Amelia her stave. It was covered with dessicated and dried flesh."What..." Amelia began."Long story. Bartleby got eaten. I think we better go back and check on Jacob and see how he's fairing." Theodore glanced back towards the room Amelia and Sarah had just emerged from. "Are the guests...?""All of them are inside, yes. Except the chef and the priest, that nice Moloch fellow. Oh, and Jacob and Cordelia," Sarah quickly added.WE HAVE WASTED ENOUGH TIME WITH IDLE CHATTER. LET US PROCEED TO STRING THE ENTRAILS OF OUR ENEMIES UPON THIS HALLOWED GROUND'S WALLS."I'm with Brimmy," Theodore growled, drawing his own freshly recovered sword. "Let's move."

Cordelia's fist met with Jacob's stomach, sinking deep. Caught by surprise, Jacob was sent reeling back from the force of the blow, his sword clattering to the ground behind him."Don't worry about hurting him," Morticus slyly spoke, moving to kick the menacing blade as far away as he could. "He's a paladin. He can heal himself afterwards.""Cordelia... what the hell are- urngh," Jacob was cut off as the woman's hands blazed forward with the precision of a surgeon, striking blow after pounding blow across his torso - turning it into a landscape of pain and bruises."I'm sorry, Jacob," She murmured weakly as he crashed against the wall. "But I need that jewel, right now."As Cordelia stepped forward and reached for him, Jacob raised his hand and spoke a single word. Suddenly, a wave of heat washed through him - and exploded out of the center of his palm. The force of the word alone was enough to send Cordelia careening back to the other side of the room, crashing and rolling to the ground in a crouch."I don't know what the hell this is about," Jacob began, rising from the ground and shoving his glasses further down his nose. "But I do know who's responsible." Turning towards Morticus, Jacob summoned forth a shimmering hammer of light.Moments into his charge, Cordelia was in front of him again - grabbing his descending wrist with one hand and his hip with the other, she twisted and threw him aside, smashing him into the nearby wall.Skeletons exploded in bursts of dry bone as the hammer cracked against solid granite, and Jacob tumbled back down to the earth. This time, his glasses fell off - and the world was enveloped in a hazy blur. Stumbling to get back to his feet, he tried to focus on the form of Morticus as Cordelia slowly approached him."You know," Jacob wheezed, "This is the second time we've fought over that blasted stone.""Give it to me, Jacob," Cordelia whispered. "And everything will be fine. Trust me.""I trust you fine, just not right now!" He swung the hammer downwards into a blazing arch for what he assumed to be Cordelia's shoulder. Although he had no interest in breaking his bride-to-be's collarbone on their wedding day, he had even less interest in leaving her a widow.The hammer missed. Cordelia was suddenly at Jacob's side - and her fists were denting into his flesh. He felt his head crash against stone once more, and suddenly the ground was crashing into his back."Always... too fast," Jacob blinked, grimacing at the pain. Reaching for his dislocated shoulder, he felt the swelling warmth of his faith build in the base of his palm, and-Cordelia's booted foot crashed into his temple, sending the paladin reeling into unconsciousness."Excellent!" Morticus cried, stepping behind Cordelia. "Quickly, before he awakens - get the stone!"Cordelia dropped to her hands and knees. She quickly found the only other object on Jacob's person - the ornately carved wooden pine-box in his pocket. Twisting it open greedily, she threw the top aside and...The jewel...wedding ring"Give it, quickly!" Morticus cried, reaching forward. Cordelia stared numbly inside of the box, still atop of her knees. "Before he awakens! Before your changes become worse!"Gears and cogs twisted in a clouded mind, clicking with slow, realizing intent."The jewel, Cordelia! Give it to me!" Morticus snarled.Wedding ring. Jewel. What had she...?"GIVE ME THE FUCKING JEWEL, YOU STUPID BITCH!"The pine-box clattered from numb hands, and found something else to grab hold of - Jacob's sword. Even with only half fiend's blood, the sword sizzled and burned to the touch - she could feel blisters beginning to well up on her palms all ready. But through the haze of pain, she found clarity - and with that clarity, dawning horror."What the hell are you doing!? Put that sword down!" Morticus began, stepping back. As Cordelia slowly slid to her feet, the baatezu stepped back and quickly changed tactics. His voice was sugared cinnamon, now, wreathed with strands of magic."Cordelia... Please, put the sword down. We need to work quickly if we're to-"Pain dulled the senses and sharpened the will."Shut up."Morticus swallowed, stepping further back. "Cordelia, isn't that sword heavy? Terribly, unspeakably hea-""Shut the hell up."With hands that burned and sizzled, the tiefling lashed the blade out with a powerful blow. There was a sickening pop, an awful, unspeakable smell - like burning maggots - and then Morticus' head was rolling on the floor.The body remained standing only for a moment, as if unable to understand just what happened. Slowly, it slumped down to the ground, falling with a dull thud.The sword was thrown aside. Burnt and charred hands immediately flew to Jacob, cradling the unconscious paladin's head as she dropped to the floor.

In the church's lobby, the guests mulled impatiently and sampled what little alcohol and food remained."I gotta say, this party's the pits," Vinik grumped, snatching yet another spider out of a corner and tossing it into his massive, gaping maw.The only people who seemed to be having any fun was Charlie's gang, who was currently surrounded by a flock of blushing, flirting aasimar, all of them listening raptly to the corpses' stories."So there we were," Charlie began, holding out his hands. "Surrounded on all sides by sod-killers. What's a corpse to do, y'ask? Well, we-""Excuse me." Jeremiah's voice interrupted Charlie in mid-sentence. The one-eyed gangster shot the old man a glare that told him he was not amused. Jeremiah seemed unaffected. "Couldn't help but notice you have a very interesting object, there.""Eh? Oh, this," Charlie grinned (as best as a corpse could) at the three-barreled flint-lock in his lap. "This is just a little somethin' we like to call Closure.""Very nice. Mind if I borrow it?""Actually, yeah, I do," Charlie eyed Jeremiah."Great! Thanks a bunch," Jeremiah exclaimed, snatching the gun right out of the corpse's lap."Hey! Waitasecond!" Charlie exclaimed, nearly toppling over himself to chase the old coot - but with a turn and twist, Jeremiah was suddenly gone amidst the throng of party-goers. "Where th'hell did he go!?""That's my leg he's got! Leg he's got!" Jimmy two-times pipped in.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," Cordelia throatily whispered to the unconscious paladin. "I don't know what came over me... I'm so sorry...""Not as sorry as you're going to be," A sibilant hiss rumbled behind her.Blinking, Cordelia threw an orange-eyed gaze over her shoulders into the darkness of the room where Morticus' body lay. Except that there wasn't a body there now.Instead, there was something else...Something very big, and very hungry."All hail the Maggot-King," Morticus grinned.