A Wedding in Sigil: Part 4

"Shouldn't we be helping with the search?" Jeremiah asked."We are helping. This alcohol isn't going to drink itself, you know." To prove this, Draken took a particularly delicate sip of his glass."I just feel a little guilty, you know. Everyone else is off looking for the bride, while we're...""While we're making sure this sherry doesn't go to waste. Really, Jeremiah, you need to get your priorities straight." Draken finished his glass, reaching for the next bottle."Hey, look over there," Jeremiah frowned concernedly, glancing over his shoulder. "Back over at the entrance.""Hm?" Draken peered in the direction Jeremiah indicated, noted it wasn't either sherry or an attractive woman, then returned to his drink. "Oh, I'm sure it's nothing important.""I think that's... Oh, that's definitely something important," Jeremiah insisted. "It's got fangs... And claws! And there are six of them!""Six? Really. Deplorable. They aren't coming over here, are they?""No, they seem to be more interested in the rooms in the back. They're walking right past us," Jeremiah mumbled. "Shouldn't we try and stop them?""Oh, no. Absolutely not. Under no circumstances," Draken explained as he poured himself a fresh glass, "Should we interfere.""Why not?!""Upsets the balance. Survival of the fittest. What, are you trying to destroy Sigil's natural ecosystem?!" Draken asked accusingly. "Just relax. These sorts of things usually end up solving themselves.""You're barmier than that bloody paladin," Jeremiah mumbled."Mmmm, but he's not drinking sherry right now, is he?"

"Where the hell has she gone?!" Theodore fumed. "She's got a bloody wedding going on, doesn't she know that?!"The vast majority of guests had all ready broken off into small groups and left to explore the countless rooms located in the back of the cathedral. Only a select few - among them Theodore, Brimsnout, Amelia, and Sarah - remained in the lobby behind the cathedral's main hall.They were soon joined by Jacob, who emerged from his own room with a perturbed look on his face.YOU LOOK TROUBLED, SON-OF-THEODORE."My room," Jacob began, frowning distractedly. "It's been ransacked. Someone was looking for something there.""Looking for something? Looking for what?" Theodore asked, a growl beginning in the pit of his throat."I don't know..."Brimsnout stepped forward, sniffing in the direction of Jacob's room.YOUR CLOTHES STINK OF BAATEZU, PALADIN. AS DOES YOUR ROOM."Baatezu?!" Theodore hissed.Sarah winced. Amelia's brows knitted together.Jacob's voice was suddenly calm and his face a stern mask of direction. "Mother, can you and Sarah get the rest of the guests together and bring them in here? Dad, Mr. Brimsnout, can you check on Bartleby and see about retrieving some of our weapons?""What do you think is going on, Jacob?" Amelia asked."I don't know, but I don't like it."All four of them nodded. As they moved on to their respective jobs, Theodore lingered. "Where are you going?""To check the crypts beneath the church," Jacob quickly noted."Here." Theodore brushed his finger over his left pocket, whispered a word, and then drew from it a sword - it's blade apparently emerging from no where at all. The weapon was a slender long-blade with holy script writ upon it's surface, shimmering with a faint pulse. "I was going to save it for your wedding gift, but I imagine it'll be more useful now. Just in case.""Dear!" Amelia hissed, narrowing her eyes."What?" Theodore asked before handing the sword off to Jacob. "It was a wedding gift! I wasn't going to use it! ...probably.""Thanks, dad." Jacob weighed the sword in his grip, nodded his head, and moved towards the back of the church.Silently, the five parted ways.

There was no mistaking it - that was the scream of an aasimar girl. No other scream could so effortlessly blend stark raving terror with beautiful, melodious pitch.Charlie and company burst into the small dining room, where the three shambling corpses beheld a most frightful sight. Towering above a group of cornered and shrieking bridesmaids, the fiend was a creation of flesh and steel - a twisted, mishapen form that had been branded with bands of iron randomly through it's crimson flesh. From it's jaws drooled a vitriolic ichor that hissed the moment it touched the floor, and its eyes blazed with fire. Instead of a hand, one of its arms ended in a gruesomely gnarled club, stained with ancient blood and wreathed in iron studs.Attracted by the sound of the opening door, the Devil turned upon the three shambling corpses and released an ear-shattering roar."Boys," Charlie puffed, "I think it's time for Closure."

"I don't know if this is the appropriate time to ask, but I'm dying to know," Amelia began as they slipped through the servant's quarters."Hm?" Sarah asked."I don't mean to be rude, but how did you ever manage to get Brimsnout to be... so... well...""Managable?" Sarah offered, smiling."Well, yes. From what I know of tanar'ri, their table manners aren't usually so...""Well-coordinated.""Generally, yes.""Well, it wasn't easy," Sarah admitted. "It took a lot of time and dedication... But you've got to know how to speak to a tanar'ri with their language. They don't listen to words very often. It takes a special sort of person to be able to show them just who's in charge.""So... what did you do?""I- One second." Just as Sarah was about to finish, the front door before them exploded into a dozen shards of wood, exposing a grey-fleshed chain-devil wreathed in knives, daggers, and hatchets that hung along his restraining manacles. Charging forward towards the two women with a sibilant hiss, he was interrupted by Sarah's own thundering roar - as the woman lunged her fist forward, her sharply angled fingers slamming into the devil's exposed stomach and sinking deep.There was a moist glurp, followed by a positively stunned look in the devil's eyes - moments before Sarah twisted her hand upwards, grasping the devil's spine. With another sickening twist, she drew the vertabrae backwards and up out of his stomach, causing the fiend to shudder and fall limp to the floor with a clatter."I'm sorry, where was I?" Sarah asked, reaching for a nearby towel to wipe her blood-soaked hand clean."...Nevermind."

"Let me make this absolutely clear, Grimsnout-"BRIMSNOUT."Whatever. I don't trust you. Not one bit."THE FEELING IS MUTUAL, PRIMITIVE APE-MAN."Good," Theodore growled, before kicking the door open.The cathedral's main hall was just as they left it - except for the two guests off to the side, casually drinking away the good alcohol and chatting up a storm. Theodore threw them a glare, but soon turned his attention back towards the entrance."Let's get us some artillery.""Actually, gentlemen," A thick, syruppy voice purred from the shadows of the entrance, "You won't be getting anything.""Finally, some action," Theodore grinned, lifting his fists. "I don't need a bloody sword. I'll brain this Baatezu with my bare hands."EXERCISE CAUTION, PRIMITIVE APE-MAN. THIS IS NOT THE BAATEZU WHO'S ODIOUS STENCH I DETECTED BEFORE."Oh, great. A whole invasion of them?" Theodore asked."Not quite, little man," The devil smiled, stepping forward. He was a withered, dessicated corpse - yellow, cracked flesh that looked as if it had been mummified in some dark damp place for several centuries. His mouth was stitched shut, but still he somehow spoke, each word causing the strings to dig deep into the meat of his lips. "We are the Tannak... Empowered by the magic of artifacts. Your very own tools and weapons shall bring about your end.""Lovely. Ever hear of these freak-shows, Grimsnout?"NO. I FIND IT LIKELY THEY ARE DEVILS OF NO CONSEQUENCE. NEVERTHELESS, CAUTION IS ADVISED, PRIMITIVE APE-MAN."Caution schmaution," Theodore growled, and with a word summoned a shimmering hammer of force to his hands. Charging with a roar, he swung the weapon of light downwards in a mighty arch intended to meet with the devil's head."Shizzak." The devil whispered. Suddenly, all the air was rushing free of Theodore's chest as he was thrown back like a rag-doll, smacked aside with an errant slap of air. He was caught at the last moment by the brooding form of Brimsnout, who cushioned the contact by stepping back and wrapping an arm about the paladin's waist."Ungh! Bloody 'ells! Let me go!" Theodore roared, squirming. "Son of a b!tch! He's using my wife's stave!"I SHALL HANDLE THIS INGRATE, PALADIN. STEP ASIDE AND BARE WITNESS TO THE WRATH OF A THOUSAND SUNS."Shouldn't we help?" Jeremiah asked, frowning desperately.Draken sighed. "Natural order, Jeremiah," The elf reminded him. "We have absolutely no right to interfere in the natural cycle of predator and prey. It would be irresponsible of us.""This just... doesn't feel right.""I have so much to teach you," Draken shook his head."You are strong, tanar'ri," The tannak hissed, his string-laced mouth twisting into a broken smile. "But I have absorbed the most powerful artifact of them all. Prepare to be swallowed whole by my mighty minions! ATTACK!"Swirling, twisting wires of magic arose in columns upon either side of the tannak, as the silhouettes of growing shapes began to take form. In a crackle of mystical energy and undulating light, two beings appeared.The sound of silver-laced giggling filled the air.I AM STRICKEN WITH TERROR, BAATEZU. NO DOUBT YOUR FRIGHTFUL SYLVAN WENCHES WILL BE THE END OF ME.The baatezu stared with horrified shock at the voluptuous elven maidens who now clinged to either of his arms, cooing and giggling in turn. "But... but... this is impossible...! That was the... the most powerful relic in the whole box! How could this be?! Elven whores?!""Elven bitches," Draken boredly corrected him. "Of the highest quality."Rendered speechless, the baatezu could do nothing but stare at Draken as Brimsnout's fist swung down to crush his skull into the finest of powders.

The moist air of the crypt stung the eyes and the nose. Nitre and spiderwebs clung to the walls, with the occasional shard of bones lingering upon the floor.Sword in hand, Jacob proceeded with caution. The cryptorium was thankfully small - only the entryroom and one other room - and inspecting it would be a quick matter. Once he was through, he could head back upstairs and see if any of the other guests had any lu-"Jacob!"Cordelia's form - her dress ragged and torn, her eyes bright with fear - was a welcome sight for Jacob's eyes. She leapt out of the shadows, running to him at once, stopping several feet away. The sword hummed in his hands."Cordelia, are you all right?" Jacob asked, stepping forward towards her. Cordelia glanced at the sword, taking a cautious step back."Yes, Jacob..." She began. "But there's no time to talk. Listen to me - there's a baatezu here...""I know. Your father smelled him. We're going to look for him in a moment."Cordelia quickly nodded. "He wants the jewel... Do you remember it? The jewel of Sinistratus...?""Of course..." Jacob frowned. The sword was growing hotter in his hand. He glanced at the hilt, feeling it give another thrum..."Do you have it on you now? We need to hide it.""Yes, I have... AUGH!" Jacob yelped as the sword suddenly burned his hand, causing him to flinch backwards. In that moment of painful agony, his eyes grew blurry with instinctive tears - and suddenly he could see that the woman before him wasn't a woman at all.A devil in an oil-slick white suit stood before him, grinning malovently."Jacob," Morticus said, mimicking Cordelia's voice with frightful accuracy. "Are you all right?""What the hell did you do with Cordelia?!" Jacob roared, slashing the sword downwards in a clean arch towards Morticus' head.The devil yowled in a voice that was most certainly not Cordelia's, stumbling back as the blade carved a ragged tear through his otherwise handsome features. Clutching at his face, he stumbled back through the doorway, reaching out and gesturing at a symbol upon the door. Instantly, the rune glowed, activating and slamming the stone portal shut with a rumbling whump."He had to have a magic sword," Morticus cursed, turning about to the quivering form of Cordelia. Instantly, he forced himself to grow calm. He went about weaving his lies once again, threading subtle lines of manipulative magic into his words. "Cordelia...""What's... what's going on..."A low thump came from the other side of the door. Jacob was trying to break it down."Jacob's gone mad. He thinks you're a demon, Cordelia. He doesn't trust you any more.""Jacob... trusts me..." Cordelia began, voice quivering."No, he doesn't," Morticus explained, slithering down to her side. "He doesn't want you to have the jewel. He's afraid you'll use it to turn into a full tanar'ri, and then do terrible things...""I... I wouldn't," Cordelia sobbed, tears forming in her eyes."I know you wouldn't," Morticus soothingly spoke as another thump echoed behind the door. Dust rattled free, and bones tumbled from their homes. "But you have to get it from him. Do you understand...? Unless you get it from him, he might kill you...""He... he wouldn't...""HE WOULD." Morticus snapped, face twisting into a wolfish snarl of rage. Quickly, he forced himself to maintain his calm. "He will kill you unless you get the jewel from him. You may have to hurt him, Cordelia. He has the jewel on him right now... You have to get it from him. Any way you can.""Any... way... I can," Cordelia blinked back the wetness.There was another thump, and another.Then there was a crash, and the door was coming down.