Dungeons 'R Us!

All right, now, you didn't hear this dark from me, but...

Tired of trudging all over the Multiverse looking for a well-stocked treasure-ladened dungeon lorded over by a nefarious wizard? Sick of spending day after day searching for that secret entrance that leads deep into the Ogre's lair?Carefully hidden near the center of the Hive is a small Baatezu-ran business known as 'Dungeons R Us'. To any self-respecting villain, the mere mention of it's name is enough to drain faces of color and send entire legions of minions charging for the door. But to a small group of enterprising adventurers, it's the best thing since Bags of Holding.

After discovering a curious pattern of re-appearing and disappearing portals in a small section of the Hive, a particularly mathematically-minded Xaositect discovered that this area was home of a singularly unique phenomenon - portal waves. A door within the area would lead outside of Sigil, and immediately after - for a limited window of time - any doorway or alcove on the other side of the portal would lead to another portal. This process would mean that if someone was fast enough, they could rapidly 'ride the wave' and pass through over a dozen destinations in rapid succession before a portal eventually lead back to the first doorway they stepped through in the Hive.

Through a series of incredibly complex chaos-based algorithims, it was possible to predict exactly how and when these 'portal waves' would occur. And - quite naturally - it wasn't long until the Baatezu figured out a way to market it.

Specifically, a cutter by the name of Morticus - little more than a Baatezu bean-counter, but a clever, savvy one - realized the sheer potential this phenomenon had. Especially when he realized that the vast majority of places the portal wave traveled through were highly populated dungeons on the Prime Material plane.

Thus, Dungeons R Us was born - a booming business that allows a group of adventurers to ride a portal wave through a countless array of dungeons. Never you mind that every so often the adventurers will pop up in the middle of a bank, or somewhere else where adventurers aren't especially appreciated - as long as it's indoors, filled with loot, and what appears to be hostiles, the adventurers are happy. And they'll pay arseloads of cash for every run, too!

Now here's the real scary part, berk: They say Morticus has been working with that Xaositect to figure out how not only to predict the portal waves, but control them. Imagine, for a moment, a possible scenario: Say you're a wizard who managed to get on Morticus' bad-side. Say you happen to have a dungeon!

Well, then, maybe one day while you're sitting in your study, reading your books and studying your runes, you'll hear this awful racket - and suddenly your door will come crashing down as a raiding party of fresh adventurers from Dungeons R Us appear out of no where and proceed to loot, pillage, and destroy your home.

Even worse: Imagine the Blood War no longer fought by Baatezu, but just screaming, whooping gangs of incredibly powerful adventurers bristling with freshly looted eldritch artifacts charging down towards cowering, fleeing Tanar'ri.

Yeah, keeps me up at night too, berk.