Valley of Ash Eternal

"Trusting that portal was a mistake, no matter how desperate to get out of Bedlam we were. It all started off well enough. Our wizard, Neleth, told us to get through that doorframe, so we did, with a whole gang of barmies right behind us. I suddenly realized that I was flying through the Astral. If you've ever been to the Silver Void, it's not a sight you forget easily, I'll assure you. All of a sudden, the wispy tunnel we were in got all twisted and started veering over toward this big floating chunk. A dead power, I'm sure of it. Anyway, it didn't take much of a graybeard to realize that this power was bad news. The portal--sorry, Neleth would correct me--conduit shot right through his heart, and when we came out the other side, it was spiraling away."

"We finally were spit out in a desert, or something. Everything was bleak and dying, and I could tell pretty fast that it was the Grey Waste. The first layer, we later found out. Oinos. Anyway, what really got our attention right-fast was who was there with us. It was a sodding Blood War battlefield. A raging horde of demons was on one side, and they were going to charge a mass of baatezu. The baatezu had a bunch of 'loths with them, but they didn't have a general, or nothin', and like ol' Cyric was saying later, it's not too often you see somethin' like that."

"Anyway, these two were fighting, and it was vicious enough on its own, but there was this one thing, I swear I still have no clue what it was, was the worst of all. A big one, he looked like a human, 'cept his skin looked like polished silver, and he had no face. In fact, I can't really be sure he was a he, but I can't be sure of much nowadays. He had this big broad-head spear and this old pitted armor, looked even duller and greyer next to his skin, and what he'd do is he'd go walking through the fighting and just cut down fiends as he liked. They didn't even notice him until he was right on top of them, and then it'd be too late. They'd get right scared enough, but he'd just skewer 'em where they stood. An impressive sight. There was something hypnotic about it, but you had to shudder."

"So then he starts heading over toward us. Now I'm a practical cutter, I'll assure you, so I says we ought to get out of there 'fore we get penned. But quicker'n you know, that grey keeper was coming at us. There was something about that face of his, or what should have been his face, that just froze the blood in you. I couldn't move. He kept coming, and then Cyric yelled something and Neleth did his old teleporting trick and before I knew it we were out of there. When they got me out of that trance, I realized we were out of the valley. Somewhere nearby, I guess on the top of the ridge. Anyway, we trudged on over to see what was down there and they were all gone. I mean all of them. So Cyric of course never wanted to let us leave without 'investigating properly,' so we had to go back. I told him, I said 'That place is bad news, I'll assure you,' but he insisted."

"So when we were poking around in that canyon, it was like stepping into a tomb. The whole place felt even more dreary and dank than the rest of the Waste, and that's saying something, I'll assure you. We were wading through ash and dust up to our knees, and the whole place was just too still for my liking. Neleth dug around for a while and found some old weapons. They were everywhere, actually, just buried under all that ash. Definitely fiendish, he said, and I got the feeling we had just seen some fiends swinging 'em around just before we 'ported. We never did figure out what happened there. Neleth's a strong enough mage, I'll assure you, but he certainly didn't dust all those fiends. Anyway, the whole time we were digging around there, I felt that grey keeper all around me. I don't know how to describe it except that he was there, even though he was nowhere in sight. Finally, them two listened to me, and we got out of that place. The same portal brought us back to Bedlam. I figured those alley gangs would be nothing compared to that place. I was right, but that's another story."

"So when we hit the Cage again, Neleth decided he would check up on where in the Hells we were. I told him I'm not ever gonna want to know where we were, and decided to get some bub to clear my head. Anyway, Neleth found some book by a Guvner--he's gone barmy now, the Bleakers locked him up--Elysson was his name. Knaven Elysson. Anyway, this berk found that same damned portal and wrote about it. Let's see. Neleth copied it out. What did he say? I've got it here:

'Portal in question is affected by contact with corpse of deceased deity. Could it be Ir'Tigrol, the lesser deity of time who went missing from his realm in Pandemonium? Further investigation necessary. Destination of said portal is Oinos, specifically a battlefield. Upon arrival, tanar'ri forces were assaulting a mixed force comprised mainly of three batallions of baatezu with several groups of yugoloths. I have observed numerous nycaloths and piscoloths fighting alongside the baatezu forces. Baatezu lack pit fiend commander, a highly suspicious note. Presence of unidentifiable entity. Androgynous, roughly humanoid. Skin appears metallic, but there is no face. Upon leaving the valley, I find myself in a barren wasteland, but upon returning to the valley, no combatants remain, and all that exists is a layer of debris--ash, seemingly--approximately two and a half feet in depth.'

"So, y'see, every time you hit this portal, it takes you to that same spot. Right there, right then. Every time. Makes no sense. That Guvner berk went there years ago, and he found the same thing. Makes me want another round of bub just thinking about it. Thank you, most considerate of you. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. So we don't even know when that battle happened. Or even if it happened. I'll not go back there. Not for anything."

"You want to see it? It's a mistake, I'll assure you, but if you're really barmy enough, I can help you. Do you have any jink? Yes, that'll do nicely. Alright, well, since you're so curious, I have the portal key right here. This vial here, with a few drops of quicksilver. Now, the way you get to the portal is..."~Rheldin Vors, retired planewalker