Baatezu Entrail Excursion
Guaranteed to make even a Sensate sick!Baatezu Entrail Excursion
Still can't get enough of those Lower Planes? Do you feel alllight-hearted after meeting a fiend or, more specifically, a baatezu?Do you wanna get even closer to these mystical beings? Are you merely aSensate looking for an interesting means to fill a boring day? Whateverthe case, the mage Anthony of Lion's Corner has got something for you!
This once Clueless prime magehas always been obsessed by smallness, and for that reason he hasworked out an improved and elongated version of the well-known reducespell, so as to facilitate his research into small beings. Chant has ithe has discovered whole new lifeforms during his trips!
Some berks claim his brainhas permanently shrunk because of his reducing magics. But, when heaccidentally stepped through a portal and ended up in Sigil, he quicklysaw the possibilities of using his spells for commercial gain andteamed up with a well-connected travel agency...us! We now can give youthe chance of getting closer to your favorite fiends than any sanebasher would ever wish to be.
Here's the plan: First, youwill have an extensive, two-day course on baatezu anatomy. Then, youwill be checked for any mental or physical disorders, a process whichwill also take a day or two. Finally, you'll have to sign a disclaimerand then you're ready for the real preparations, which include findinga greater fiend (hopefully a pit fiend, but any baatezu or for thatmatter any fiend will do).
You'll then be equipped with a Helm of Blood Breathing (an especially adapted version of the Helm of Water Breathing) and a Protection from Acidspell. Finally, you'll be reduced to a mere bug, or even less, byAnthony, put on a blood steak sandwich and fed to the chosen fiend.
What now follows (assumingyou survive the eating process and any and all stomach complications),is one of the most disgusting, sickening and outright horrific tripsyou have ever made: a tour of the insides of your favorite fiend! Enjoyyourself as you check out the fiend's dinner, marvel at itsreproductive organs and scratch its inside. Here's your chance to givehim the laugh and get away with it!
Due to a special laxativeapplied to the sandwich, you will be excreted before the spell expiresin an even gorier stream of fiend feces. In this final phase, yourpicture will be painted by one of our sketch artists, after which youwill be enlarged again, full of memories and stories to tell yourfriends. Betcha they can't wait to also try it!
DisclaimerName: _____________________Cycle of Birth: _____________________Home location: _____________________Occupation _____________________
I, __________, hereby relieveSnail Outfitters and any of their employees of any responsibilityconcerning my personal health and safety during the Baatezu EntrailExcursion. I am well aware of the risk I face and do not want any ofS.O.'s staff scragged because of me. If anything happens, it is my soleresponsibility and I will accept any and all consequences that ensue.
Current cycle: _________________Signature or mark: _________________Travel advocate: _________________
by Rutger KramerBe Tarmy!Don't run off without having the right equipment, bloods! Try a list of the following items, all available at Snail Outfitters!Waterproof poncho, Ever Flowing Canteen, Decanter of Endless Holy Water, and Portable Portal.
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