A'kin the Friendly Fiend's Inventory

A small sample of the many wondrous things to be found on the premises of The Friendly Fiend curio shop.

By: Bob the Efreet, Wizards Forums, 11-13-2004

• A book: 7,126,938 Uses for Extra Money. None of them involve buying stuff.
• An eternally beating squid heart. Sure, it's dry now, but put that thing in a cup of blood and watch it squirt!
• An angry little man. We're not sure whether it's a tiny construct or an actual person, but boy is he upset over something.
• A four foot long bar magnet. No, I don't know why you'd need a magnet that big. Oh, keep it away from Mechanus.
• A plot hole. It looks a lot like a portable hole, but it causes horrible discontinuities around it. Doesn't help against the Lady or Xaosmen, though.
• A box o' reality puddle. Straight from the inner planes! Get a bit of liquified stuff.
• A miniature wind-up ninja. You never know when you'll need an eight inch tall clockwork assassin.
• An unending night of action. This isn't really an item, exactly. And we suspect it involves chronomancy, which is illegal in most towns. Still, if you need a whole lot of action for something, this is the way to go.
• Sunglasses of vampire protection. Yes. They actually protect a vampire from sunlight when worn. Vampires still tan rather horribly, though.
• Wind-up teeth of assassination. Similar to the miniature wind-up ninja, but these just hop about and kill people. They're kind of messy, but effective.
• A wooden spoon of discipline. Hitting someone with it makes them repentant of whatever it is they just did.
• A politeness stick. It's used to knock the rude out of people.
• A literacy stick. Similar in theme to the politeness stick, this one enhances a person's ability to read, at the expense of some hit points. We're not sure the fix is permanent, though.
• A bottle o' maple syrup of waffle throwing. Just apply a bit of syrup to a waffle, and transform that delectable breakfast food into a deadly projectile. Keep away from children.
• A shrunken Arabian man in a bottle. We're not sure where this 'Arabia' is, but the man doesn't seem to be too happy about being stuck in the bottle.
• A blender of hellish pureeing. Make sure not to stick your hand in there, even if it's turned off. Trust me on that one.
• A bracelet of random outrageous accents. This one is a fun roleplaying aid.
• A cloak of indefinitely blowing wind. What bard could do without this?
• An angry raincloud. This floats above some berk's head and constantly rains on him. Be cautioned, though, it can eventually be convinced to move on to a different victim.
• Scrolls of invoking nobody. Why invoke the power of the Lord of the Ninth when you can invoke nobody at all? It doesn't give any neat benefits, but it also doesn't leave you with the feeling that you owe a favour to the embodiment of law and evil.

By: Wereooze, Wizards Forums, 11-13-2004

For 10gp

• Ceramic figurine/statuette. about 6" long and hand-painted. Can be of anything: rustmonsters w/ pink bows, beholders, orc-Hobos. Be sure that any statue type (such as Orc hobo or rustmonster) as an entire series of statues by a famous ceramic statue designer that the PC can collect. (collecting rare statuettes can make for interesting side-quests and annoy fellow PC's)
• Scrimshaw. Ivory with design etched onto it. Usually boats & nautical themes as it is a popular hobby with whalers. Put scrimshaw on regular items to make them worth more treasure room... like pocket knife handles.
• Electrum whiskey glasses (emblazoned with the name of a famous tavern)Gold body jewelry

55gp.

• Hand-crafted chairs (pair), in Teak, Walnut, or Mahogany. Certain to be comfortable and add some flair to any dungeon chamber. Geometric patterns, leaves, or skulls carved into the chair-arms along with an upholstered seating area (embroidered to taste) are common at this range. Remember that any BBEG worth his salt is going to have at least 8 chairs around any masterwork dinner table (105gp).
• Copper framed wall mirror. The hand-wrought frame surrouns a mirror of silvered glass. dragons & leaves are common styles. They make really good treasure 'cause they break easy!
• Painting. It might be still-life, surreal, or maybe Orcish impressionism of the third age. But 55gp paintings are usually ho-hum and 24"x36".
• Silver flatware. The eating utensils. made of silver. Service for 8
• Masterwork cooking pots. Ceramic enamled cast-iron baking goods available in most colours. Add a +1 to any Cooking skill DC.
• Leatherbound, gold leafed book. A tome on any skill or knowledge, determined randomly. A character may use it to refrence at time of spending skill points... or just sell it.
• Crystal decanter and wine-glass set.

105gp

• Dinner Table. for 105 gold pieces its so shiney it looks wet and the legs have decorative 'claws' on the ends. Or maybe dolphins..whatever floats yer boat. (Be sure to include chairs...mentioned above).
• Booze cabinet. Prbably manufactured by the same halflings as the table & chairs, this tall armoire-like piece of old-growth kindling has shelves for a whole array of fine glasses & goblets, decanters & meauring shakers. Also a second storage bin at knee-level holds bottles of wine/spirits
• Ornate silver goblets, set of 8. Shaped like squids , human skulls, or just bizarre arcane sybols... silver wine glasses say alot about your kind of person.
• Gold flatware, service for 8
• Painting. still 24"x36" but this class of painting is of intresting subject matter: nude elves, decapitations.... something to make up for the price.
• Pair of boots designed by snooty high-end boot maker. Bards (and women) love footwear with nose-bleed prices.
• Lifesized marble bust of famous person. I'd personally have Vecna myself
• Masterwork dagger w/ ivory handle
• Silver tea set

350gp

• King-sized bed to match your table & chairs
• Masterwork oversized harp that nobody knows how to play
• 20' long tapestry of some battle
• 3' tall ceramic vase. Painted by elves of some remote island. Heavy & easy to break. holds flowers
• Intricate waste-paper basket. Made from an Owlbear leg!
• Walking stick. Gold handle
• 2' long oriental dragon statue made of gold.
• Winterwolf fur coat
• Masterwork dagger with ivory handle & minor jewel pommel

550gp

• Floor of residence professionally tiled with marble & soapstone tiles by dwarven mastercraftsman. Lets see the PCs try to hock that in town....
• Arched interior door crafted of old-growth teak, set with blackend steel hinges, and a brass lock.
• Ornate ironwork torch scones. set of 50. may be shaped to resemble skulls, music notes, etc
• Leaded-glass fireplace screen. With stained-gass picture effect. covers any 5' wide fireplace.
• 5' marble statue
• Bejewelled circlet
• Platinum framed spectacles with smoked glass lenses. to look cool and protect from harsh solar rays.
• Masterwork dagger with dragonbone & platinum handle

1000gp

• Masterwork dagger with scrimshawed dragonbone handle, platinum fittings, and jeweled pommel.
• Masterwork glazed bone-chian plates w/ silver serving platters
• Wastepaper basket, made from dragon leg!
• Undead brain-in-a-jar. Sci-Fi style decor for your alchemy lab.

By ThatDarnCat, Wizards Forums, 11-04-2004

I have a smallish list of artsy stuff I'm happy to share. Most of the items aren't as detailed as above, but we can't all read the J Crew catalog...

• Ring: beaten from red gold into a long knuckle-coil to resemble a snake coiled about the wear's finger. It has two tiny rubies (90g ea.) for eyes. 250g value.
• Rod: a 2ft rod of bronze inlaid with a circular pattern, the tip formed in the shape of a flower with gems set in among the petals; 16 violet garnets (500g ea.) and a huge, deep blue spinel (900g), the other end is a 2 inch gold knob. 8,120g value. Weighs 3lbs.
• Cup: of the thinnest beaten gold set with a lip ring of tiny emeralds (>24@200g), and incised with an abstract circular pattern. 5,650g value
• Bracelet: made from 46 tiny white pearls (70g ea.) strung on a gilded wire, fastened with a barbed hook and loop. 3,220g value.
• Pen case: gold, held shut with an ornate clasp. Carved into the case is a scene of a scribe writing in a tome, sitting on a stool amid stacks of parchment. The symbol of Deneir is engraved on the opposite side. 16g, 100g for a follower of Deneir.
• Brooch: 4 inches in diameter, made from polished brass worked into the shape of a sleeping unicorn. A chalcedony (75g) is inset to depict the horn. 80g value.
• Comb: the golden body is carved in the form of a dragons head with a single perfect ruby (1,000g) for an eye. 1,150g value.
• Scroll tube: carved from ivory, with engraved gold end caps.
• Buttons: a set of eleven, in platinum, each depicts an eagle with wings spread and clasping a bundle of arrows (50g red coral) in one talon and a lightning bolt (65g aquamarine) in the other. 145g ea. or 1,815gp for the set.
• Hair net: woven of platinum and electrum wire, set with 32 pearls (85g ea.), 32 water opals (250g ea.), and 32 aquamarines (100g ea.). 15,902g value
• Medallion: of electrum, set with a topaz of great size and clarity (1,190g) and 12 amber (80g ea.). 2,189g value.
• Torc: twisted platinum wire capped with dragon's claws which clasp large bloodstones (>2@75g). 850g value.
• Ring: a lions head, finely crafted, of electrum with eyes of SL topaz (150g ea.). 435g value.
• Bracelet: made from interwoven bands of silver, copper, and bronze. 25g value.
• Bracelet: made from interlocking leaves carved from silver and enameled in green, and set with small carved coral berries (>12@25g). 510g value.
• Armor: a suit of fine chainmail of platinum (AC+3) set with sapphires (>8@275g) and aquamarines (>8@150g) in a vaguely crown shaped pattern on the chest. 4,500g value.
• Stylus: a silver stylus, engraved and inlaid with gold. 65g value.
• Lap desk: a silver ash lap desk, the sides and back are carved and painted in woodland motif. The inside is partitioned off for paper, pens, and ink. The closure is a silver hasp. 18"x22". 275g value.
• Lamp: a 4 wick oil lamp of gold, with platinum reflectors. The sides are carved in bas relief, depicting the city of brass. Weighs 4lbs and holds 6 pints of oil for a 10 hour burn time. 570g value.
• Tools: Thieves tools of the finest craftsmanship (+1 Circumstance bonus for disable devise) and design. 300g value.
• Tabard: Cloth of silver with the symbol of Torm embroidered on the front, and set with gemstone chips. 137g value.
• Chalice: carved crystal inlaid with silver and set with emeralds 6,222g value.
• Belt Buckle: an electrum buckle set with a large, 2"x3", cabochon of Lapis Lazuli (52g). Engraved and filigreed with copper. 124g value.
• Headband: platinum, set with 3 rubies Size 7¼. 1,430g value.
• Brooch: a 3" silver brooch, with a griffin rampant on a blue enamel field. The griffins eyes are amethysts (>2@75g) 272g value.
• Basin: crafted of platinum and silver, and highly decorated with engraving and carvings of worship scenes (dedicated to Mielikki). Holds 3 gallons of liquid safely and weighs 10lbs. 4,750g value.
• Lock: the case is crafted from solid brass and beautifully engraved, the shank and lock mechanism are made from high quality steel and the mechanism is of exceptional quality (DC+2 to open). 550g value.
• Locket: leaf shaped enameled gold, the stem forms the loop for a chain. Opens to reveal a very small compartment with 2 surfaces suitable for miniatures. The compartment could hold a small ring or a dose or drugs, poison, or antidote. 167g value.
• Statuette: 8in tall bronze statue of a an armored warrior leaning on his spear. There are silver and gold inlays on his armor, and shield. Weights 7lbs. 84g value.
• Statuette: 10” tall alabaster statue of a comely lass bearing a water jug in her arms. She is wearing a toga over one shoulder and the breast not covered by the jug is exposed. Weights 9lbs. 145g Value.
• Statue, fountain: 6ft tall naked woman pouring water over hear head from a pitcher. She is facing the spout of water with her eyes closed and mouth slightly parted. Her free hand cups one breast. If connected to a water source, the water will cascade down her voluptuous form. Weight 2 tons. 895g value.