Tubro: The Fat Goblin God of Money

Tubro is the ultimate story of the underdog making good. Tubro was not your typical goblin. Though he is fat, lazy and cowed to greater might, Tubro was greedy. Tubro loved jink in all its forms. There are numerous stories about how Tubro attained godhood. He reached this pinnacle by being smarter than anyone could think a goblin would get. At first he robbed and stole to get rich. After many beatings, and near death experiences, he learned it was better to sell goods. On top of this, he found in order to sell more goods, he needed to be clean and proper to get more sales. This succeeded famously, and he became one of the richest goblins on an almost unknown Prime World.

This was not, however the main way in which he garnered his wealth. One of his trade routes sent him to a huge Red Dragon cave. He was supposed to deliver some goods to the Red Dragon from some Githyanki in the Astral Plane. When Tubro came to the cave, he found the dragon had been slain, and the party who slain the ancient dragon were dead as well. So Tubro went immediately into action: He grabbed all the treasure from the dragon, and the adventurers. This treasure was immense. The magic items he found made him a force to be reckoned with.

The story goes that he used his wealth to buy godhood. Did he petition himself to Maglubiyet? No. He found a group of goblins to follow and worship him. The goblins of this world actually changed their alignment. Instead of warring against orcs, humans, or others, they became merchants and traders. These goblins were almost respected in this realm. Tubro himself bought a kingdom. He was a proponent for peace as it only enhances trade. (Others claim he actually caused other races to go to war in order to ship weapons to both sides.) The stories about Tubro brought him to epic proportions and became a Demi-God.

Tubro ascended to the Outer Planes, and communicated with other gods of wealth. He garnered a little realm in the outer planes. Tubro then realized that since he wasn’t truly a part of the Goblinoid pantheon, the sky was the limit for him. He traveled to Toril first, as one of the largest deities he met with was Waukeen. There he put the taste of greed into a big female goblin named “Peggy”. (She once had a goblin name, but humans for some unknown reason gave this name to her.) Peggy then sold all of her husbands prized silver sows (that he had stolen) to get enough gold to pay a blacksmith to make her an idol of Tubro. The deal paid off, and she became wealthy (by goblin standards...in Toril). So Peggy started roaming Toril to bring the word of Tubro into the goblin tribes. She left her husband and her four kids behind.

When a good portion of goblins started to worship Tubro in the Realms, his power increased. So Tubro went to other prime realms as well, but the religion didn’t take as well there. The Planar goblins however jumped on the bandwagon as they were traveling aimlessly after leaving Acheron. With this increase of belief, Tubro grew to Lesser Power level. Now that Tubro has reached this level of Power he looks to other areas he could expand his influence. His current works are trade, love, and luck (his High Priests are working hard on both fronts for these as well).

Most worshippers are more clean, and nicer than your typical goblin. The priests are very immaculate. They bathe once a week (whether they need it or not). The priests wear robes of green coloration. The higher the level of priest you are, the more elaborate the robes. Many high priests of Tubro have them laced with gold and silver. This isn’t exact edict of the Priesthood, but it may as well be. You can definitely tell how high up in the hierarchy a priest of Tubro is from his robes.

Many thieves think they can steal a Tubroite’s money, but those high up in the Tubro ranks know how to keep their money too. They usually keep spells on that protect them from thieves; also most of these priests pick up a few levels of magic as well to protect themselves. It is also very likely that they have a level or two in rogue as well, since most Tubroites want to follow exactly in his footsteps and commit a little thievery before becoming “decent”. Also, being overweight is the trend of Tubroites. Being fat in these times means that you have money, thus goblin priests of Tubro eat twice as much food as a typical goblin, if they can.

Tubro hasn’t formed any religious days as of yet. There are churches, and certain edicts: They must bathe once a week or they lose priestly power. (This is definitely unheard of for goblins. It is almost unheard of for humans to bathe weekly!) Tubro is strict on this one, so faithful priests will go out of their way to bathe. Also they keep themselves up more, so oft-times they are confused for ugly halflings or gnomes. Higher priests actually have some attractiveness to them (not from actual physical beauty, but there's just something about Peggy). The priesthood does have one chant that it does for praise and worship of Tubro. They take an idol of Tubro, and rub it over their body and then chant: “Zooma Zooma Tubro, Yubro. Zooma Zooma Tubro, Yubro.” What this actually means is anyone’s guess.

All priests of Tubro are clean, very immaculate. In role-playing terms they should have a higher charisma (at least 12). While they aren’t pigs, they love to eat. All of the priests are greedy, though some show it more than others. Also most tend to be rogues before they are priests. The most likely way to role-play them is as a typical goblin, and then they find the word of Tubro, and become a follower, then a priest. So you can play them as total comic relief, or you can play them as a seriously ambitious but with some comic elements to them.